Monday, April 9, 2012

Why Am I Even Blogging?

It's not even been a week since I started this whole blogging thing, and I've already typed 5 posts on my blog and I've started a couple of drafts. And my mind is actually having blogging conversations with itself. Coming up with new titles and content to type about. This is truly insane! I am hooked! I knew I loved to write from when I was in junior high school or possibly younger. I kept diaries, journals and wrote poetry all the time.

My writings have included, but weren't limited to, feelings about friendship, boys I liked (or thought I loved), boys that didn't like me, school dances, and people that were cruel and mean to me. (Perhaps some of my sad poems could become the lyrics for a great country song. Maybe that's how I'll make my first million dollars. I wish!!)

Unfortunately, as I got older, I slowed down with my writing and eventually stopped. I believe as major events occurred in my life, and some that were not so good, I had a fear of putting it to paper because I was afraid of who might read what I wrote. Once it was on paper, then it WAS real. There is so much of my past, I have buried into the past and it remains in my mind where no one can reach unless I let them in.

Enter blogging. This is just like having a diary...but I am allowing others to read it now. WTH??? Did I really want to do that? hhhuuumm. Do I really want others reading my thoughts and opinions? Who really cares what I think or feel? Does it even matter what I have to say? I started to think about this a couple of days ago - after I wrote my 4th post. Why was I feeling compelled to partake in this blogging world (that I am still somewhat puzzled and confused on how to fully embrace all of the benefits of blogging)? I began asking friends their personal take on blogging, in case I was doing this all wrong. After all, I pointed out to them, many bloggers have "themed" blogs - crafts, cooking, schooling, parenting, scrapbooking, etc. You name it, I am sure there is a blog that is specific to every theme out there in blog-land. Mine didn't seem to have "one of those themes". They said I didn't need to have a theme, because I had a focus - my life. And that was fascinating enough to write about. (I am not sure it is always fascinating, but it is definitely interesting! LOL!)

Because my "diary" is now public, I have realized that I really CAN'T write anything and everything I want, think or feel (like I thought I would) - because it could hurt feelings, be misunderstood, rock some people's worlds, or hurt my own world. So despite my awakenings about the truth of my life at 44 years old, I am also aware that not all truths can be shared...because the innocent need to be protected and I don't want to be unfairly judged (which has been happening recently, and it is not appreciated). This blogging thing needs a guide book or some rules posted somewhere for us "newbie" bloggers so we do this "correctly".

Perhaps I need to create an alias blog name, then I can really let loose with my writing and no one will know it is me. Now that would be some FASCINATING, FUN writing. For the time being, I will continue to post my "edited" blogs with my current blog name. However, alias blog name suggestions are being accepted.... LOL! :-)



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