I'm so bad at this. I did not grow up with Elf On A Shelf. I grew up celebrating St. Nick's feast on December 6th. This meant putting a pair of shoes outside your front door on the night of December 5th and in the morning a small token religious item would be found in our shoes as a reminder of the season we were celebrating. But this was only one day for a parent to remember a "tradition" related to Christmas...not 25-30 days of remembering to move a stuffed toy item around your home.
Who thought that adding this "tradition" into our homes was a brilliant idea? It's hard enough to remember the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Secret Santa, Santa Claus, St. Nick, and any other "traditional" roles a mother (and in some cases a father) are required to play, upon becoming a parent. And now I have to play the part of an Elf? Seriously?!?!
Thank goodness, my credibility as a parent isn't solely based on my ability to play the parts of so many "magical" roles for my children...or I would have been kicked out of the parenthood club, repeatedly during the last 15+ years!
And let's not forget the parent's that really get into this whole Elf On A Shelf business. I've seen the pictures on Facebook of the "amazing" places and things other Elves seem to be experiencing in other people's homes. But not in my home. Our Elf is lucky if he even gets to move every night, much less be found doing something "wild and crazy". He is living on the edge - literally - when he is on top of a picture frame on the wall. That would be our Elf's wildest adventure, thus far.
Our poor Elf on a Shelf (which the kids named Michael this year, since that is 2nd son's middle name and he thought he looked like a "Michael" - whatever that means. LOL!), seems to regularly "forget" to move at night. And when the kids have noticed he is still in the same place he was the day before, they usually comment that "he probably didn't have anything to report to Santa so he never left his spot." Yeah - good answer kids!
I find myself spending time during the day trying to think about where would be a "cool" place for Michael the Elf to be found in the morning, and then I go to sleep and forget to move him! Geesh!
So this morning when Michael the Elf appeared that he had not moved last night - again - I knew I was in trouble. And it's only December 4th. This is going to be one LONG month of December!
After the sound of disappointment creeped out of son #2 and son #3's mouths, I suggested that perhaps he was a day-moving elf (because that seems to be the only time I "remember" to move him). And that he had so much to tell Santa (all good, of course), it was just taking him longer to get back to our home and find a new place to hang out at night. They both seemed to believe that had to be the reason and hoped he would be somewhere new when they get home from school today.
Of course, just as I am getting my stories straight with son #2 and son #3, it dawns on me...how does this Elf On A Shelf thing work when kids have two separate homes? Does Michael the Elf only move when the kids are with me? Or does their dad need to have his own Elf On A Shelf for his home? Or does Michael the Elf REALLY move between the two homes, physically? Is there an Elf On A Shelf rules and procedures manual somewhere that I am not aware of that I need to get a copy of?
I admit, I was a bit late in joining the Elf On A Shelf "tradition" which I originally didn't seem to fully understand. After several years in a row, of my children questioning each year why their friends had an Elf and we didn't, I decided we should probably get our own Elf. While the concept is fun and cute and my kids seem to enjoy having Michael the Elf around the house...Christmas really is about the birth of Christ. Not the materialism associated with "all of the gifts" Santa is going to bring children, based on the "reports" our Elves are telling him.
Too bad Elf On A Shelf doesn't come with a religious twist for the Christmas Season. How does Michael the Elf really help prepare for Santa AND Christ? Sounds like a great conversation starter with the kids tonight at dinner. And maybe Michael the Elf will move tonight to a new place - if I can remember.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Talking Less...Doing More
As I sit staring at my computer, I am feeling both excitement and fear. I want to start a business. My own business that both provides an income for me and my children, but ALSO helps others...children specifically. I want to combine the profit world with the non-profit world.
Telling someone your goal, makes it less likely to happen. Peter M. Gollwitzer is a professor of psychology. His research (based on Lewinian goal theory and self-completion theory in general) has shown that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen. Once you tell someone your goal, you receive a false sense of accomplishment. Individuals gain an element of satisfaction when they tell people the goals they are planning. This satisfaction often leads to procrastination or the inevitable collapse of your goal. Stay motivated, and stay driven. There will be more satisfaction in showing someone what you have accomlished, versus telling them what you want to accomplish.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
It's ONLY Another Year Older
After a VERY late night (early morning) up talking with one of my best friends, I should have still been sleeping at 8:00 this morning. But for some reason, I am so excited that it's my birthday today! I feel like a kid! I made it to 45! And I don't feel it - I don't think it - I don't look it!
Some people take "getting older" so serious. Some also use it as an excuse to stop doing the things they loved to do. Or allow the number of their age to dictate how they will feel about themselves, rather than the other way around. I am definitely NOT any of these types of people.
What does it REALLY mean to get older? As far as I am concerned, it is just a frame of mind...it shouldn't be the "frame" of my body. Yeah, yeah, I know it is another notch on the tree of aging, but does it mean my body and mind needs to feel older just because my number went up another year?
For the last couple of years, I feel like I have been working hard to keep my mind and body 10-15 years younger than it really is. Not because I am vain or self-absorbed, but because I look at my family tree, and I WANT to live longer AND healthier than some of my relatives. I want to grow older with fewer health complications that have already been pre-determined that I am genetically at risk of developing. I want to see all four of my children grow up and reach the age I am today (at least) with their own families. I am ONLY at the mid-point of life!
By the time I started having children, I was the same age my mother was when I was 9 years old! How awesome for me that I was graduating high school with a mom who was still in her 30's!! My mom seemed like a "rock-star." My kiddos, instead, will have the pleasure (or not) of having a mom in her 40's AND 50'S by the time they are all out of high school. I remember how active and vibrant my mother was when I was a teenager and in college. It was awesome. Perhaps there is this part of me that believes (and feels) that I owe the same to my children.
With all this "seriousness" regarding getting older, there are definitely some FUNNY sides to getting older, that CLEARLY tell me I AM getting older...and I can't stop it. (But I plan on trying to slow it down - dramatically!)
* The gray hairs that now need to be dealt with at least 4 times a year or else I would look like I had wire for hair. Not a good look! LOL!
* The food I eat after 8:00 p.m. tends to not digest so well, and then I find it in the morning attached to my hips and/or stomach as a reminder that my metabolism stopped working during the night.
* I can't mix my "libation" drinks without feeling the effect in the morning. (I have to stick to the same drink, or wine and one other type of drink. And I HAVE to stay away from including dairy drinks in the mix. NOT a good feeling - or look - for me. Just ask my friend Gretchen. LOL!)
* There are a few extra cracking sounds when I am doing the stretches of my body before working out.
* The HARDEST place on my body to get toned up (which is the least HARD) has become my stomach and thighs!
* The hot flashes have started while I am sleeping. I know this would probably constitute a good reason to sleep naked for comfort...but with 4 kids in the house...I am thinking they probably don't want to be scared with the image of my naked body should they need to wake me during the night from a nightmare they were having. I will become their newest nightmare.
* If I sit the wrong way for too long, my hips start to hurt! (WTH - With all of the working out I have been doing on the tread mill, weights and circuit training equipment, how could this be happening? Don't tell me this is one of the first signs of my body starting to fall apart "because I am getting older." NOT ALLOWED!)
* My hips hurt after a night of dancing (and sometimes certain physical activities)...and in some cases I have ended up in an ER the next morning because I can't walk from dancing (just to clarify)!
YEAH, YEAH...go ahead and laugh! This one ranks right up at the top of my list of "most embarrassing moments" in my life...right behind my jumping out of the back of a moving pick-up back in high school as a sophomore. (I believe it was this 'brilliant" choice I made as a youth that has negatively impacted the use of my hips as I have aged. I am not 100% sure! But it sounds good! LOL!)
We had gotten in trouble for bringing shaving cream to school on the last day of school in order to "ambush" our 11th grade football player friends. It worked...and we also got caught! Our consequence was to sweep the school parking lot the next day when there was no school. Rather than sweeping, we decided it would be more fun to ride around in the back of one of our guy buddies pick-up, listening to music. When we saw the school principle coming outside to check on us, rather than ducking down (like my other friends) - I stepped over the tailgate and JUMPED out of the moving vehicle! Needless to say, this was NOT a good move! (And I also realized I would never make a good stunt woman in Hollywood! LOL!)
As I hit cement, burning off the rivets on the hip pockets of my Levi 501 jeans, I also tore off the fabric - down to my hip and underwear! Definitely NOT the way to NOT be seen by the principle!
Many years later that I am coming to realize that the stupid stuff we do when we are younger, does in fact come back to haunt us in one form or another. For me, that injury to my hip when I was 15 years old, had impacted me when I was pregnant and birthing my babies, sometimes when doing certain physical activities, and now DANCING.
So despite the reminder I may have in the morning of my body aging after a night of dancing, guess what I will be doing for my birthday tonight? GOING DANCING! Oh Yeah!
Unless I am in a wheelchair, this body of mine will continue to dance. (Oh wait, I just saw on the Glee Project, one of the contestants was in a wheelchair and she WAS able to dance with the other people - in her wheelchair. So I guess I won't have to stop dancing if I AM in a wheelchair!)
I truly love getting older. I don't fear it. I embrace it. I am more confident now then I was 10, even 20 years ago. I don't take a whole lot of crap from people anymore. I refuse to be taken advantage of and used. I am more honest and straight forward. I don't want to waste my time on excuses and BS from people that aren't "real" with me. My time has become more important to me with great value - not to be wasted on those that don't appreciate it or me. TRUE friends stand the test of time, distance and circumstances and I am so thankful for them!!! They keep me strong and steadfast during the good and not so good moments during my life - especially during the last couple of years.
I am so much more comfortable with my body now than I was years ago...even though it doesn't look like it did years ago. I am finding my"swag" again with my dressing. It has always been there, but somewhere along the way, I had lost it - or rather I started ignoring it. Not anymore. Life has become the "here and now" because I don't now if I will have tomorrow, next week or next year.
Happy 45th Birthday To Me! And may I be blessed with another 45! :-)
Some people take "getting older" so serious. Some also use it as an excuse to stop doing the things they loved to do. Or allow the number of their age to dictate how they will feel about themselves, rather than the other way around. I am definitely NOT any of these types of people.
What does it REALLY mean to get older? As far as I am concerned, it is just a frame of mind...it shouldn't be the "frame" of my body. Yeah, yeah, I know it is another notch on the tree of aging, but does it mean my body and mind needs to feel older just because my number went up another year?
For the last couple of years, I feel like I have been working hard to keep my mind and body 10-15 years younger than it really is. Not because I am vain or self-absorbed, but because I look at my family tree, and I WANT to live longer AND healthier than some of my relatives. I want to grow older with fewer health complications that have already been pre-determined that I am genetically at risk of developing. I want to see all four of my children grow up and reach the age I am today (at least) with their own families. I am ONLY at the mid-point of life!
By the time I started having children, I was the same age my mother was when I was 9 years old! How awesome for me that I was graduating high school with a mom who was still in her 30's!! My mom seemed like a "rock-star." My kiddos, instead, will have the pleasure (or not) of having a mom in her 40's AND 50'S by the time they are all out of high school. I remember how active and vibrant my mother was when I was a teenager and in college. It was awesome. Perhaps there is this part of me that believes (and feels) that I owe the same to my children.
With all this "seriousness" regarding getting older, there are definitely some FUNNY sides to getting older, that CLEARLY tell me I AM getting older...and I can't stop it. (But I plan on trying to slow it down - dramatically!)
* The gray hairs that now need to be dealt with at least 4 times a year or else I would look like I had wire for hair. Not a good look! LOL!
* The food I eat after 8:00 p.m. tends to not digest so well, and then I find it in the morning attached to my hips and/or stomach as a reminder that my metabolism stopped working during the night.
* I can't mix my "libation" drinks without feeling the effect in the morning. (I have to stick to the same drink, or wine and one other type of drink. And I HAVE to stay away from including dairy drinks in the mix. NOT a good feeling - or look - for me. Just ask my friend Gretchen. LOL!)
* There are a few extra cracking sounds when I am doing the stretches of my body before working out.
* The HARDEST place on my body to get toned up (which is the least HARD) has become my stomach and thighs!
* The hot flashes have started while I am sleeping. I know this would probably constitute a good reason to sleep naked for comfort...but with 4 kids in the house...I am thinking they probably don't want to be scared with the image of my naked body should they need to wake me during the night from a nightmare they were having. I will become their newest nightmare.
* If I sit the wrong way for too long, my hips start to hurt! (WTH - With all of the working out I have been doing on the tread mill, weights and circuit training equipment, how could this be happening? Don't tell me this is one of the first signs of my body starting to fall apart "because I am getting older." NOT ALLOWED!)
* My hips hurt after a night of dancing (and sometimes certain physical activities)...and in some cases I have ended up in an ER the next morning because I can't walk from dancing (just to clarify)!
YEAH, YEAH...go ahead and laugh! This one ranks right up at the top of my list of "most embarrassing moments" in my life...right behind my jumping out of the back of a moving pick-up back in high school as a sophomore. (I believe it was this 'brilliant" choice I made as a youth that has negatively impacted the use of my hips as I have aged. I am not 100% sure! But it sounds good! LOL!)
We had gotten in trouble for bringing shaving cream to school on the last day of school in order to "ambush" our 11th grade football player friends. It worked...and we also got caught! Our consequence was to sweep the school parking lot the next day when there was no school. Rather than sweeping, we decided it would be more fun to ride around in the back of one of our guy buddies pick-up, listening to music. When we saw the school principle coming outside to check on us, rather than ducking down (like my other friends) - I stepped over the tailgate and JUMPED out of the moving vehicle! Needless to say, this was NOT a good move! (And I also realized I would never make a good stunt woman in Hollywood! LOL!)
As I hit cement, burning off the rivets on the hip pockets of my Levi 501 jeans, I also tore off the fabric - down to my hip and underwear! Definitely NOT the way to NOT be seen by the principle!
Many years later that I am coming to realize that the stupid stuff we do when we are younger, does in fact come back to haunt us in one form or another. For me, that injury to my hip when I was 15 years old, had impacted me when I was pregnant and birthing my babies, sometimes when doing certain physical activities, and now DANCING.
So despite the reminder I may have in the morning of my body aging after a night of dancing, guess what I will be doing for my birthday tonight? GOING DANCING! Oh Yeah!
Unless I am in a wheelchair, this body of mine will continue to dance. (Oh wait, I just saw on the Glee Project, one of the contestants was in a wheelchair and she WAS able to dance with the other people - in her wheelchair. So I guess I won't have to stop dancing if I AM in a wheelchair!)
I truly love getting older. I don't fear it. I embrace it. I am more confident now then I was 10, even 20 years ago. I don't take a whole lot of crap from people anymore. I refuse to be taken advantage of and used. I am more honest and straight forward. I don't want to waste my time on excuses and BS from people that aren't "real" with me. My time has become more important to me with great value - not to be wasted on those that don't appreciate it or me. TRUE friends stand the test of time, distance and circumstances and I am so thankful for them!!! They keep me strong and steadfast during the good and not so good moments during my life - especially during the last couple of years.
I am so much more comfortable with my body now than I was years ago...even though it doesn't look like it did years ago. I am finding my"swag" again with my dressing. It has always been there, but somewhere along the way, I had lost it - or rather I started ignoring it. Not anymore. Life has become the "here and now" because I don't now if I will have tomorrow, next week or next year.
Happy 45th Birthday To Me! And may I be blessed with another 45! :-)
Sunday, September 2, 2012
More Facebook Surprises
WOW! I thought I had seen it all (pun intended) on Facebook recently. But I guess not!
While at Barnes and Noble Saturday afternoon with my mother, assisting her with the purchase of a brand new Nook Color Tablet, my iPhone beeps me.
Usually the beeping of my iPhone can mean several things: I have received an email, someone has texted me, someone has privately messaged me on Facebook, or an individual I have indicated as a close friend on Facebook has either posted something, "liked" a page, or had some other type of activity on Facebook.
Upon hearing the beeping, I immediately unlock my iPhone to investigate what caused the beeping. Turns out it was due to an activity on Facebook by someone close to me who had just "liked" a page. I decide to open up my Facebook app to see who was "liking" exactly what on Facebook. To my surprise, the person who had this recent activity was someone BOTH my mother and I knew. Well, with my mom standing right next to me, she saw me open the app and before I could close the screen and shut my mouth, OMG started coming out of my mouth!
A sidebar here...the person I unfriended on Friday from Facebook (because of the tagged picture of the naked woman) was someone my mother knew, too. And the person that surprised me on Saturday, is also someone my mother knows. This is not looking so good for me and the people I am friends with on Facebook. LOL!
Anyway, she starts asking, "What? What is it this time?" Because she knew all about my last "stupid" encounter with Facebook on Friday, she was especially interested in what was in my news feed at that moment due to my reaction.
I immediately start laughing and tell her, "you are never going to believe this!" So I show her my news feed which shows the person we both know has "liked" a page which has to do with women and pictures of them topless, and the profile photo from the page is in my news feed. (To protect the innocent...and not throw anyone under a bus...I am not going to name the exact page that was "liked" or the person who liked it.)
The comments (or rather questions) that started coming out of my mother's mouth had me laughing so hard. It was as if she thought I had all the answers. "What the heck is going on here, Lisa?" "Have these people all lost their minds?" "What are they doing?" "They do realize we all see this, right?" "I don't know about these people!" "I think they are all going crazy!" And then she made a few more comments in Spanish, which I would type out if I knew how! LOL!!
For two days in a row now, Facebook has included inappropriate photos in my news feed. First a woman fully naked, and then topless women. The only pictures that haven't shown up yet are fully naked men. But I would guess those won't be appearing any time soon, because RARELY is a man's package fully shown publicly. That's ok...I think I would prefer to leave that visual private or to my own imagination. And I would like Facebook to not include the visual of naked women in my news feed anymore, please.
I suppose, more power to the guys that like topless women. But do they really want their children, relatives and people they work with or go to church with to know this about them publicly? Possibly there are some men that don't mind, but I am guessing there are quite a few that would rather not. I would think that making these kinds of "likes" known on Facebook, would be the last place they should be announcing this.
My apologies if it seems that I am trying to single out only the men. That is not the case. Both men and women are publicly posting "stupid" photos on Facebook. After all, Friday's unexpected view on Facebook was from a woman to a woman. Go figure!!!
This situation from Friday and Saturday has made me realize...there is no censoring of ANY kind on Facebook. Anyone can post or create a page that shows anything they want, even if it would be considered Rated R or Rated X. And even though the minimum age to be on Facebook is 13 years old, the content being mentioned is for 18 years and older.
At least with the internet, content that would be intended for adults only can be blocked from children under a certain age when they are surfing the internet. But on Facebook, there are no parental controls or settings to block these types of pages or posts for children under 18 years old. This is pretty scary and concerning as a parent, because Saturday's post was something that my 14 year old son was able to see in his Facebook news feed because he is also friends with this person.
I think I am going to need to address this with my friend. He had to realize that his "liking" the page he did would be seen by everyone he is friends with on Facebook. And it doesn't jive with all of the other types of pages he has liked before and the line of employment he is looking to become a part of currently. Maybe someone hacked his account and "liked" the page on his behalf...maybe. Either way, what might have started out as something funny to partake in on Facebook, could have negative repercussions with employment, family or friends down the road. And I would hate to see that happen to him. I really wonder if people are thinking about this long term, when they are acting in the moment. After my recent naked encounters on Facebook, I am guessing NOT!
While at Barnes and Noble Saturday afternoon with my mother, assisting her with the purchase of a brand new Nook Color Tablet, my iPhone beeps me.
Usually the beeping of my iPhone can mean several things: I have received an email, someone has texted me, someone has privately messaged me on Facebook, or an individual I have indicated as a close friend on Facebook has either posted something, "liked" a page, or had some other type of activity on Facebook.
Upon hearing the beeping, I immediately unlock my iPhone to investigate what caused the beeping. Turns out it was due to an activity on Facebook by someone close to me who had just "liked" a page. I decide to open up my Facebook app to see who was "liking" exactly what on Facebook. To my surprise, the person who had this recent activity was someone BOTH my mother and I knew. Well, with my mom standing right next to me, she saw me open the app and before I could close the screen and shut my mouth, OMG started coming out of my mouth!
A sidebar here...the person I unfriended on Friday from Facebook (because of the tagged picture of the naked woman) was someone my mother knew, too. And the person that surprised me on Saturday, is also someone my mother knows. This is not looking so good for me and the people I am friends with on Facebook. LOL!
Anyway, she starts asking, "What? What is it this time?" Because she knew all about my last "stupid" encounter with Facebook on Friday, she was especially interested in what was in my news feed at that moment due to my reaction.
I immediately start laughing and tell her, "you are never going to believe this!" So I show her my news feed which shows the person we both know has "liked" a page which has to do with women and pictures of them topless, and the profile photo from the page is in my news feed. (To protect the innocent...and not throw anyone under a bus...I am not going to name the exact page that was "liked" or the person who liked it.)
The comments (or rather questions) that started coming out of my mother's mouth had me laughing so hard. It was as if she thought I had all the answers. "What the heck is going on here, Lisa?" "Have these people all lost their minds?" "What are they doing?" "They do realize we all see this, right?" "I don't know about these people!" "I think they are all going crazy!" And then she made a few more comments in Spanish, which I would type out if I knew how! LOL!!
For two days in a row now, Facebook has included inappropriate photos in my news feed. First a woman fully naked, and then topless women. The only pictures that haven't shown up yet are fully naked men. But I would guess those won't be appearing any time soon, because RARELY is a man's package fully shown publicly. That's ok...I think I would prefer to leave that visual private or to my own imagination. And I would like Facebook to not include the visual of naked women in my news feed anymore, please.
I suppose, more power to the guys that like topless women. But do they really want their children, relatives and people they work with or go to church with to know this about them publicly? Possibly there are some men that don't mind, but I am guessing there are quite a few that would rather not. I would think that making these kinds of "likes" known on Facebook, would be the last place they should be announcing this.
My apologies if it seems that I am trying to single out only the men. That is not the case. Both men and women are publicly posting "stupid" photos on Facebook. After all, Friday's unexpected view on Facebook was from a woman to a woman. Go figure!!!
This situation from Friday and Saturday has made me realize...there is no censoring of ANY kind on Facebook. Anyone can post or create a page that shows anything they want, even if it would be considered Rated R or Rated X. And even though the minimum age to be on Facebook is 13 years old, the content being mentioned is for 18 years and older.
At least with the internet, content that would be intended for adults only can be blocked from children under a certain age when they are surfing the internet. But on Facebook, there are no parental controls or settings to block these types of pages or posts for children under 18 years old. This is pretty scary and concerning as a parent, because Saturday's post was something that my 14 year old son was able to see in his Facebook news feed because he is also friends with this person.
I think I am going to need to address this with my friend. He had to realize that his "liking" the page he did would be seen by everyone he is friends with on Facebook. And it doesn't jive with all of the other types of pages he has liked before and the line of employment he is looking to become a part of currently. Maybe someone hacked his account and "liked" the page on his behalf...maybe. Either way, what might have started out as something funny to partake in on Facebook, could have negative repercussions with employment, family or friends down the road. And I would hate to see that happen to him. I really wonder if people are thinking about this long term, when they are acting in the moment. After my recent naked encounters on Facebook, I am guessing NOT!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Naked Facebook Stupidity
OMG! OMG! Let's just say that what I was greeted with this morning in my Facebook Newsfeed I WAS NOT EXPECTING! And I can't even begin to imagine how I would have explained it to my children had any of them been sitting next to me and seen the picture on my screen.
I will first point out that what was posted was not actually posted by my Facebook friend. However, it was something she was tagged in. But guess what, since she is my friend, anything other people tag her in, I get to see it, too! AND THAT IS NOT WORKING FOR ME TODAY!
I truly don't know whether to laugh or be annoyed at what I would consider someone else's complete stupidity. Didn't this young lady realize that all the people like me, who don't know her, are still going to see what she posted because she tagged people that were her Facebook Friends. And her post will now appear in the news feeds of those tagged and all of the tagged people's friends. SERIOUSLY! WHAT WAS SHE THINKING....OH WAIT....SHE WASN'T THINKING!!!!
So what was the tagged picture that caused my mouth to drop wide open and leave me speechless (which is a hard thing to do)??? A woman posing COMPLETELY NAKED!!! Full front view and all! Nothing hidden or left for the imagination! (Perhaps this was all an innocent mistake...she REALLY didn't mean for so many people to see it. She REALLY meant to change her settings before posting the picture and forgot. Yeah...I am going to go with that story...NOT!!!)
Don't get me wrong. The naked human body is a beautiful thing. Sometimes people will take pictures of themselves partially or fully naked and share those with someone else via an email, text message or hard copy. That is a choice between individuals. And for those that wish to share it publicly via magazines, movies, etc. - that is also their choice. However, I don't believe I was offered the choice for this viewing option in my Facebook News Feed Settings. LOL!
As I sat there stunned by my morning greeting, I tried to delete the post so none of the kids would accidentally see it. But since I was viewing it on my iPhone, it would not allow me to delete it! UUGGHH! So my next quick option...to just unfriend my friend. That was probably a good idea anyway, since who knows what other photos her friends may decide to post and tag her in. And I am really not wanting another morning greeting from Facebook to be a photo of two people having sex or an orgy. I already know what that looks like and don't need a photo on Facebook to show me or be shared with me!
Is it too early for a glass of wine to help get this image out of my head today? I am sure it is 5:00 somewhere in the world right now! LOL!
Don't get me wrong. The naked human body is a beautiful thing. Sometimes people will take pictures of themselves partially or fully naked and share those with someone else via an email, text message or hard copy. That is a choice between individuals. And for those that wish to share it publicly via magazines, movies, etc. - that is also their choice. However, I don't believe I was offered the choice for this viewing option in my Facebook News Feed Settings. LOL!
As I sat there stunned by my morning greeting, I tried to delete the post so none of the kids would accidentally see it. But since I was viewing it on my iPhone, it would not allow me to delete it! UUGGHH! So my next quick option...to just unfriend my friend. That was probably a good idea anyway, since who knows what other photos her friends may decide to post and tag her in. And I am really not wanting another morning greeting from Facebook to be a photo of two people having sex or an orgy. I already know what that looks like and don't need a photo on Facebook to show me or be shared with me!
Is it too early for a glass of wine to help get this image out of my head today? I am sure it is 5:00 somewhere in the world right now! LOL!
Saturday, August 25, 2012
My Freedom of Speech - Part 2
In my last blog post "Freedom of Speech - Part 1" I wrote about my views and feelings regarding how I believe many people "misuse" and "hide" behind the right to "Freedom of Speech." They use this "right" to mislead and hurt others...when that was not the original intent for this "right" back in 1789.
I respect other's opinions, even if they are not the same as mine. I listen and read with an open heart and mind to others...even when it may be in complete opposition to what I think or believe...because it is NOT my place to pass judgement and if anything, it helps reaffirm why I DO believe what I believe. Sometimes a differing opinion initially can lead to an opportunity for growth or change in one's opinion because another view had never been considered.
"Freedom of Speech" IS a wonderful thing!!! And it can allow for so many AMAZING outcomes because of it. But it can also create such negativity and turmoil, especially when people use it to intentionally hurt others.
When I read or hear something that erupts strong negative feelings, and my "sailor" mouth is flying off the handle in my head, sometimes the best thing for me to do is to do nothing. At least for a couple of days, so that the "heat" I am feeling can cool off a little. I don't want to be a reacting kind of person...because that can sometimes hurt, not help, an already heated situation. So that is what I have been doing for the last couple of weeks. Watching and waiting for the right time (if there really is one) to "speak" about a situation that I felt was misleading, hurtful, and just downright inappropriate by another blogger.
At first when I was typing up this blog post, I had originally included way more details regarding what triggered my outrage towards those that keep touting they have the right to say what they want because they are protected by "Freedom of Speech." As I re-read my rant, I realized that I did NOT want to further feed the negativity that was swirling around not only me, but many others I had spoken to regarding the hurtful blog written by someone many of us knew.
I have come to realize that the issue at hand is one that probably warrants a face-to-face chat. I am a "people" person. I want to see their face, look at their eyes, watch their body language, and hear the tones in their voice. I want emotions to be seen and feelings to be felt. When using social media outlets, emails, text messaging, or commenting on blogs - the "real" person is lost. People can hide behind these other forms of communication either by not being completely honest and holding back what they really feel or because they don't have to face the other person. Or they can become extreme in their word choices (good or bad) - saying things they would NEVER say if facing the other person.
I have decided to use my "Freedom of Speech" - by saying nothing online. And sometimes by not replying or saying anything, can speak VOLUMES - and that too, can be another form of "Freedom of Speech!"
I respect other's opinions, even if they are not the same as mine. I listen and read with an open heart and mind to others...even when it may be in complete opposition to what I think or believe...because it is NOT my place to pass judgement and if anything, it helps reaffirm why I DO believe what I believe. Sometimes a differing opinion initially can lead to an opportunity for growth or change in one's opinion because another view had never been considered.
"Freedom of Speech" IS a wonderful thing!!! And it can allow for so many AMAZING outcomes because of it. But it can also create such negativity and turmoil, especially when people use it to intentionally hurt others.
When I read or hear something that erupts strong negative feelings, and my "sailor" mouth is flying off the handle in my head, sometimes the best thing for me to do is to do nothing. At least for a couple of days, so that the "heat" I am feeling can cool off a little. I don't want to be a reacting kind of person...because that can sometimes hurt, not help, an already heated situation. So that is what I have been doing for the last couple of weeks. Watching and waiting for the right time (if there really is one) to "speak" about a situation that I felt was misleading, hurtful, and just downright inappropriate by another blogger.
At first when I was typing up this blog post, I had originally included way more details regarding what triggered my outrage towards those that keep touting they have the right to say what they want because they are protected by "Freedom of Speech." As I re-read my rant, I realized that I did NOT want to further feed the negativity that was swirling around not only me, but many others I had spoken to regarding the hurtful blog written by someone many of us knew.
I have come to realize that the issue at hand is one that probably warrants a face-to-face chat. I am a "people" person. I want to see their face, look at their eyes, watch their body language, and hear the tones in their voice. I want emotions to be seen and feelings to be felt. When using social media outlets, emails, text messaging, or commenting on blogs - the "real" person is lost. People can hide behind these other forms of communication either by not being completely honest and holding back what they really feel or because they don't have to face the other person. Or they can become extreme in their word choices (good or bad) - saying things they would NEVER say if facing the other person.
I have decided to use my "Freedom of Speech" - by saying nothing online. And sometimes by not replying or saying anything, can speak VOLUMES - and that too, can be another form of "Freedom of Speech!"
Saturday, August 4, 2012
My Freedom of Speech - Part 1
How do I even begin to appropriately write about a topic that is so heavy-weighted lately with politics, religion and personal opinion....but here goes.
I love that those of us living in America, have the right to "Freedom of Speech." I feel honored that there are men and women from our country who have and continue to fight to protect this right for us Americans. Without this right, the blogging world would not exist. Much of what we see and hear on the TV, the Radio, in Print and on the Computer would never be known to us Americans, if we lived in another country that did not have "Freedom of Speech."
However, it saddens me that SO many people MISUSE "Freedom of Speech" and use this right to hurt, degrade, embarrass, humiliate, and in some cases destroy other human beings. I don't understand why some people feel that it is OK to be MEAN and in many cases CRUEL, because they believe they have a "right" to do this with their words. It is such a fine line with this "right" - one that I suppose I don't fully comprehend, but what I do know, is that I DESPISE those who think that by having the right to "Freedom of Speech", it gives them the "freedom" to lie (or not tell the WHOLE truth) and hurt others.
I don't believe that the fore-fathers of our country back in 1789, had this "misuse" in mind when they came together and drafted The Bill of Rights and included "Freedom of Speech." I thought it was intended to protect the people from the British government...not destroy another human being.
During the debates on the adoption of the Constitution, its opponents repeatedly charged that the Constitution as drafted would open the way to tyranny by the central government. Fresh in their minds was the memory of the British violation of civil rights before and during the Revolution. They demanded a "bill of rights" that would spell out the immunities of individual citizens. Several state conventions in their formal ratification of the Constitution asked for such amendments; others ratified the Constitution with the understanding that the amendments would be offered.
Amendment I
And The United States Constitution starts out with:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
How are we creating this "more perfect union" as people of the United States, when we keep tearing each other down with our words - and then hide behind The Bill of Rights, defending that we have a "right" to say what we want despite what it does to someone else.
Why is it that a famous person can sue a magazine for so-called "slander" and "misrepresentation" when the magazine prints a story that may not be "completely" true or "misleading" about the individual or a situation they are associated with. And yet I know individuals who are being "slanderous" and "misrepresenting" situations they are blogging about in their blogs. THEY are NOT being completely true. Am I allowed to sue them for "slander" and "misrepresentation?"
Obviously, I am feeling pretty passionate about this topic, especially due to a recent personal experience. And since I have a "right" to "Freedom of Speech," I intend to use that "right" - but NOT in the same way as others have - to tear someone down just to build myself up, be hurtful and provide misleading information. I intend to "tell the truth...the whole truth...and nothing but the truth" - and hopefully those that read my blog post, will realize there ARE TWO sides to every "blog." And just because someone touts that they are a "professional" at something, does not make them more important or more legitimate with their words, just because they think they are!
I love that those of us living in America, have the right to "Freedom of Speech." I feel honored that there are men and women from our country who have and continue to fight to protect this right for us Americans. Without this right, the blogging world would not exist. Much of what we see and hear on the TV, the Radio, in Print and on the Computer would never be known to us Americans, if we lived in another country that did not have "Freedom of Speech."
However, it saddens me that SO many people MISUSE "Freedom of Speech" and use this right to hurt, degrade, embarrass, humiliate, and in some cases destroy other human beings. I don't understand why some people feel that it is OK to be MEAN and in many cases CRUEL, because they believe they have a "right" to do this with their words. It is such a fine line with this "right" - one that I suppose I don't fully comprehend, but what I do know, is that I DESPISE those who think that by having the right to "Freedom of Speech", it gives them the "freedom" to lie (or not tell the WHOLE truth) and hurt others.
I don't believe that the fore-fathers of our country back in 1789, had this "misuse" in mind when they came together and drafted The Bill of Rights and included "Freedom of Speech." I thought it was intended to protect the people from the British government...not destroy another human being.
During the debates on the adoption of the Constitution, its opponents repeatedly charged that the Constitution as drafted would open the way to tyranny by the central government. Fresh in their minds was the memory of the British violation of civil rights before and during the Revolution. They demanded a "bill of rights" that would spell out the immunities of individual citizens. Several state conventions in their formal ratification of the Constitution asked for such amendments; others ratified the Constitution with the understanding that the amendments would be offered.
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
And The United States Constitution starts out with:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
How are we creating this "more perfect union" as people of the United States, when we keep tearing each other down with our words - and then hide behind The Bill of Rights, defending that we have a "right" to say what we want despite what it does to someone else.
Why is it that a famous person can sue a magazine for so-called "slander" and "misrepresentation" when the magazine prints a story that may not be "completely" true or "misleading" about the individual or a situation they are associated with. And yet I know individuals who are being "slanderous" and "misrepresenting" situations they are blogging about in their blogs. THEY are NOT being completely true. Am I allowed to sue them for "slander" and "misrepresentation?"
Obviously, I am feeling pretty passionate about this topic, especially due to a recent personal experience. And since I have a "right" to "Freedom of Speech," I intend to use that "right" - but NOT in the same way as others have - to tear someone down just to build myself up, be hurtful and provide misleading information. I intend to "tell the truth...the whole truth...and nothing but the truth" - and hopefully those that read my blog post, will realize there ARE TWO sides to every "blog." And just because someone touts that they are a "professional" at something, does not make them more important or more legitimate with their words, just because they think they are!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
ATTENTION...Calling All Those That Are Talented!
I have had quite a week! I have spent it in Orlando, Florida with Daughter and Son #2 at an Event called "The ARTS" (Applause Rising Talent Showcase) This was my second time attending. The first time was two years ago with Daughter - June 2010.
I originally thought I would post blogs daily about the happenings each day, but by the time our day ended, I was TOO exhausted to touch the computer, much less type on my blog.
This post won't be very long (hard to believe, huh?!?! LOL!), because what I want to write about will be posted on my other blog - "A Crazy Stage Mom" over the next few days. Since it is "performing arts" related, I thought my other blog was the best place to post about our week at The ARTS - what I experienced, my kids' experience, and the whole experience in general,
For those that have children (or even you adults, out there) that have even the slightest inclination to want to be on Stage or TV performing, walking a runway, showing off your amazing dance moves, and/or singing with a recording contract...the place you need to be is at The ARTS!!! Their events happen twice a year. June and December every year - AND IT'S THE REAL DEAL!!!
We joined this amazing group of people in February 2010, (through The Garnier Group in Olathe, KS) and have NEVER regretted it!!! The only regret I have is that when we attended their event two years ago with Daughter, and she was given offers, we DID NOT pursue them. In looking back, it is unclear as to why at the time we did that...but I REALLY wish we had. (And she reminds me from time to time what could have been, had we followed up and followed through.)
Hopefully, I have learned the error of my ways, and this time, two years later, it is different. VERY different! And Son #2 is at the center of all that is happening. Daughter is still doing well, and there were some agents interested in her...but NOTHING like the interest in Son #2. To say that the Entertainment Industry is our oyster, would be an understatement. So many choices presented to us...so many decisions to be made.
If you want to follow the journey I will be on...especially for the next 12 months as this all starts to unfold...follow those posts on my other blog - A CRAZY STAGE MOM
I originally thought I would post blogs daily about the happenings each day, but by the time our day ended, I was TOO exhausted to touch the computer, much less type on my blog.
This post won't be very long (hard to believe, huh?!?! LOL!), because what I want to write about will be posted on my other blog - "A Crazy Stage Mom" over the next few days. Since it is "performing arts" related, I thought my other blog was the best place to post about our week at The ARTS - what I experienced, my kids' experience, and the whole experience in general,
For those that have children (or even you adults, out there) that have even the slightest inclination to want to be on Stage or TV performing, walking a runway, showing off your amazing dance moves, and/or singing with a recording contract...the place you need to be is at The ARTS!!! Their events happen twice a year. June and December every year - AND IT'S THE REAL DEAL!!!
We joined this amazing group of people in February 2010, (through The Garnier Group in Olathe, KS) and have NEVER regretted it!!! The only regret I have is that when we attended their event two years ago with Daughter, and she was given offers, we DID NOT pursue them. In looking back, it is unclear as to why at the time we did that...but I REALLY wish we had. (And she reminds me from time to time what could have been, had we followed up and followed through.)
Hopefully, I have learned the error of my ways, and this time, two years later, it is different. VERY different! And Son #2 is at the center of all that is happening. Daughter is still doing well, and there were some agents interested in her...but NOTHING like the interest in Son #2. To say that the Entertainment Industry is our oyster, would be an understatement. So many choices presented to us...so many decisions to be made.
If you want to follow the journey I will be on...especially for the next 12 months as this all starts to unfold...follow those posts on my other blog - A CRAZY STAGE MOM
Thursday, June 28, 2012
I Am No Martha Stewart
So many thoughts to share...but so little time to do it lately! The list is endless regarding the categories I am in the mood to blog about. However, my poor stuffed up head, stiff neck and congested nose (which is starting to feel like a sinus infection, and if it is, then I usually end up with bronchitis!), has created THE WORST BRAIN FOG, (and the crappiest cold!), and I can't seem to stay focused now that I have the time to actually write. I guess this is my body's way of letting me know "I have stayed up way TOO late TOO many nights" for the last two weeks in an effort to accomplish all I needed to get done before I had to leave town two days ago with Daughter and Son #2 for a Performing Arts Event called "The ARTS"(Applause Rising Talent Showcase) in Orlando, Florida.
I have started and restarted this particular post now 5 times and I can't seem to keep it on track. So now, I am just blogging about exactly that. My Brain Fog is because I am sick with a cold - in my head...literally.
I did manage to publish a post this morning on my other blog "A CRAZY STAGE MOM" - However, I wrote it last week...but then I was so busy with all of the other stuff I was trying to complete before my trip, I forgot to post it until this morning. So much for blogging in the moment. LOL!
Why do I bring myself right up to the edge? I push it to the limit...and then sadly, I pay for it. I get so busy and caught up doing for the kids and others, that I forget to take care of myself. I forget to eat meals (not intentionally), but I usually don't realize it until around 3:00 that I missed both breakfast and lunch because I start having either body shakes, nausea or a headache. By that point, my blood sugar is crashing. This is not good! "Quick! Get me some protein and juice!"
So then in an effort to correct the situation, I end up grabbing something unhealthy from a fast food restaurant - but then that makes my stomach feel bloated and like garbage. Hey, but the headache is gone. However, I end up sabotaging my hard, sweated efforts from working out at the gym and my Zumba classes and I am sure I have just added another inch to my hip, thighs and stomach. Ugghh!
Oh, and those wonderful vitamins and supplements that REALLY do make a difference...why do I seem to forget to take them especially when I need them the most!!! Oh yeah...because I forgot to eat breakfast...and lunch!!! After several days (possibly even weeks) of doing this to myself...my body gives up and illness sets in.
This is a cycle I am sure MANY other moms can relate to...but may not admit to. Because then the pressure of trying to be a "SUPERMOM", (which is the ability to get it ALL done), would be exposed and realized that we CAN'T always get it ALL done...and that is perfectly FINE!!! (We just can't let our bodies fall to pieces when we are valiantly trying to get as much done as possible.)
I believe that the unspoken pressure of trying to be a "Supermom" became a reality when Martha Stewart made it big. I really do enjoy her television shows which are educational and at times entertaining. And her books and magazines have wonderful pictures, dreamy recipes and interesting articles. However, her domestic goddess empire has provided an unappreciated heavy burden and expectation for me (and perhaps many other women), with her constant phrase, "It's a good thing." This has caused many people to feel like if they were not doing it the "Martha Stewart Way" - then it's NOT "a good thing." I call this "The Martha Stewart Curse." Many of us have it, and don't know how to get rid of it. We want to, we try to, we probably even need to (for the sanity of our families), but in the end we fall prey to still trying to make sure everything in our lives "is a good thing." Without realizing it, I have been guilty of giving off that persona to those around me. My apologies to those I "misled" in believing I could do it all, because guess what...I can't! And my body just told me so LOUD AND CLEAR this week!
I suppose if I had the time, money, and staff like Martha does, then perhaps everything in my life would be "a good thing" and I COULD "whip up" a five course meal - every night for my family. But alas, I don't have those luxuries, so my family will just have to settle for the main dish with a couple of sides at dinnertime. And if I am feeling really crazy, I may even start their meal off with a salad. But, when it comes to dessert, they are on their own. (Oh, it's not that bad in my home...I do occasionally make or bake something dessert-like for my family... maybe once a week, but NOT every day. hahaha)
If I had the same resources as Martha, I could also keep my house model-home picture perfect at all times; have an amazing organic garden surrounded by exotic flowers and plants to naturally keep away the unwanted bugs desiring my delicious crop of fruits and veggies; there would be constant projects around my home for improvements, that actually got completed; and ALL of my cooking would be FRESH, FROM SCRATCH and NATURAL.
Boy, that sounds just perfect...for someone with no children, not married, not living with another person, and no financial responsibilities to anyone else other than themselves. I guess Martha may have forgotten who her audience really was when she was promoting her "Martha Way" of life. Perhaps she should have written in all her books and magazines, and started all of her television shows with a disclaimer..."Beware. My Way could be harmful to your health." ;-)
This is a cycle I am sure MANY other moms can relate to...but may not admit to. Because then the pressure of trying to be a "SUPERMOM", (which is the ability to get it ALL done), would be exposed and realized that we CAN'T always get it ALL done...and that is perfectly FINE!!! (We just can't let our bodies fall to pieces when we are valiantly trying to get as much done as possible.)
I believe that the unspoken pressure of trying to be a "Supermom" became a reality when Martha Stewart made it big. I really do enjoy her television shows which are educational and at times entertaining. And her books and magazines have wonderful pictures, dreamy recipes and interesting articles. However, her domestic goddess empire has provided an unappreciated heavy burden and expectation for me (and perhaps many other women), with her constant phrase, "It's a good thing." This has caused many people to feel like if they were not doing it the "Martha Stewart Way" - then it's NOT "a good thing." I call this "The Martha Stewart Curse." Many of us have it, and don't know how to get rid of it. We want to, we try to, we probably even need to (for the sanity of our families), but in the end we fall prey to still trying to make sure everything in our lives "is a good thing." Without realizing it, I have been guilty of giving off that persona to those around me. My apologies to those I "misled" in believing I could do it all, because guess what...I can't! And my body just told me so LOUD AND CLEAR this week!
I suppose if I had the time, money, and staff like Martha does, then perhaps everything in my life would be "a good thing" and I COULD "whip up" a five course meal - every night for my family. But alas, I don't have those luxuries, so my family will just have to settle for the main dish with a couple of sides at dinnertime. And if I am feeling really crazy, I may even start their meal off with a salad. But, when it comes to dessert, they are on their own. (Oh, it's not that bad in my home...I do occasionally make or bake something dessert-like for my family... maybe once a week, but NOT every day. hahaha)
If I had the same resources as Martha, I could also keep my house model-home picture perfect at all times; have an amazing organic garden surrounded by exotic flowers and plants to naturally keep away the unwanted bugs desiring my delicious crop of fruits and veggies; there would be constant projects around my home for improvements, that actually got completed; and ALL of my cooking would be FRESH, FROM SCRATCH and NATURAL.
Boy, that sounds just perfect...for someone with no children, not married, not living with another person, and no financial responsibilities to anyone else other than themselves. I guess Martha may have forgotten who her audience really was when she was promoting her "Martha Way" of life. Perhaps she should have written in all her books and magazines, and started all of her television shows with a disclaimer..."Beware. My Way could be harmful to your health." ;-)
Thursday, June 14, 2012
HONESTY
It was 1979, I was 12 years old and in seventh grade. I had to write a biography about a famous person. I selected Billy Joel. I loved that he played the piano (which I had been playing for about 7 years at that time) and he was from New York. HE WAS COOL! And he still is!!! I have seen him in concert - twice!! Most recently about 18 months ago. LOVE HIS SONGS and HIS PIANO PLAYING!!!! :-)
Back on October 13, 1978, his album (which was a BIG black vinyl circle object we played on a record player - hahaha) called "52nd Street" was released. (Wow! Son #1 was born on October 13th - nineteen years later. Cool!) Some of the songs that were popular from this album were "My Life," "Big Shot," and "Honesty." My favorite of the three was "Honesty." Even though I was only 11 years old at the time, the lyrics to this song spoke volumes to me.
Over the years, Billy has continued to write wonderful songs with thought provoking lyrics. Many of his songs are tied to memories of my life. But the one that still has a special place in my heart and is still one of my favorites, 33 years later, is "Honesty." I could listen to this song over and over and never get tired of the music or the lyrics.
Lately, I have been experiencing a variety of "honesty" related issues with friends and family. What I am slowly realizing is that a person's lack of "honesty" really isn't a reflection of me. It is something within themselves that they are struggling to be honest with. Being honest isn't always easy, and sometimes other's feelings may get hurt. But it is REAL! I don't believe that being honest should be mean or cruel, though. Consideration and thoughtfulness needs to be included when a one is being honest. But to be dishonest to someone, because a person wants to either spare someone's feelings, or doesn't want to have to face the issues around being honest, that is actually more painful to the person on the receiving end.
As a parent, my children aren't always honest with me. And when they aren't, that is just a choice they choose to make. While it is disappointing and will make me sad, dishonesty has a way of making itself known. I keep trying to teach my children that being honest can be so freeing. Even if there will be consequences from being honest, they are still far less painful, then the consequences from dishonesty or a lie.
"Honesty" is something I value, and believe in. And even when family and friends around me, choose to not be honest, I will continue to be who I am - an honest person. My "honesty" is NOT spiteful, mean or hurtful. It comes from a good place within me. But it is REAL. And I would rather be honest and work through the difficulties that may come from being honest, than dealing with the pain and consequences from being dishonest. I wish others felt the same way, too.......
'HONESTY"
by Billy Joel
If you search for tenderness
it isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
I can find a lover.
I can find a friend.
I can have security until the bitter end.
Anyone can comfort me
with promises again.
I know, I know.
When I'm deep inside of me
don't be too concerned.
I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone.
But when I want sincerity
tell me where else can I turn.
Because you're the one I depend upon.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
Video:
"Honesty" by Billy Joel
Back on October 13, 1978, his album (which was a BIG black vinyl circle object we played on a record player - hahaha) called "52nd Street" was released. (Wow! Son #1 was born on October 13th - nineteen years later. Cool!) Some of the songs that were popular from this album were "My Life," "Big Shot," and "Honesty." My favorite of the three was "Honesty." Even though I was only 11 years old at the time, the lyrics to this song spoke volumes to me.
Over the years, Billy has continued to write wonderful songs with thought provoking lyrics. Many of his songs are tied to memories of my life. But the one that still has a special place in my heart and is still one of my favorites, 33 years later, is "Honesty." I could listen to this song over and over and never get tired of the music or the lyrics.
Lately, I have been experiencing a variety of "honesty" related issues with friends and family. What I am slowly realizing is that a person's lack of "honesty" really isn't a reflection of me. It is something within themselves that they are struggling to be honest with. Being honest isn't always easy, and sometimes other's feelings may get hurt. But it is REAL! I don't believe that being honest should be mean or cruel, though. Consideration and thoughtfulness needs to be included when a one is being honest. But to be dishonest to someone, because a person wants to either spare someone's feelings, or doesn't want to have to face the issues around being honest, that is actually more painful to the person on the receiving end.
As a parent, my children aren't always honest with me. And when they aren't, that is just a choice they choose to make. While it is disappointing and will make me sad, dishonesty has a way of making itself known. I keep trying to teach my children that being honest can be so freeing. Even if there will be consequences from being honest, they are still far less painful, then the consequences from dishonesty or a lie.
"Honesty" is something I value, and believe in. And even when family and friends around me, choose to not be honest, I will continue to be who I am - an honest person. My "honesty" is NOT spiteful, mean or hurtful. It comes from a good place within me. But it is REAL. And I would rather be honest and work through the difficulties that may come from being honest, than dealing with the pain and consequences from being dishonest. I wish others felt the same way, too.......
'HONESTY"
by Billy Joel
If you search for tenderness
it isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
I can find a lover.
I can find a friend.
I can have security until the bitter end.
Anyone can comfort me
with promises again.
I know, I know.
When I'm deep inside of me
don't be too concerned.
I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone.
But when I want sincerity
tell me where else can I turn.
Because you're the one I depend upon.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
Video:
"Honesty" by Billy Joel
Sunday, June 3, 2012
TRUST
When I first started my blog in April, I had so much enthusiasm and excitement. I was typing posts almost everyday, and a couple of times even two in one day. My creative thoughts were flowing and I was enjoying myself. Having a blog turned out to be much easier than I thought it was going to be (even though I still don't know how to add all the bells and whistles to my blog, like I have seen on other blogs).
Depending on what was on my mind, going on in my life, or something I had read would inspire me regarding what I would blog about. It seemed that I was figuring out this "blogging" thing and I was having fun with it.
But then doubt slowly started creeping in. A few people called or emailed me - concerned about my state of being. Seriously, my state of being is just fine - thanks to my vitamins, supplements and hormone replacement therapy. LOL! I am a person who is very social, friendly and involved at my church, the kid's school and their extra-curricular activities. However, over the years, I had become very protective about my personal life. I didn't walk around with a sign on my back regarding the status of my life, marriage, friendships or my kids. I learned a long time ago (unfortunately, the hard way) who I could REALLY trust and what parts of me I could share. When I decided to start blogging, I thought that perhaps through blogging, some of the "armor" shielding my life might come down and some of the real me would begin to shine through again.
In May, my blog posts began to lessen. Even though I still had MANY people tell me in person, email me or call me, complimenting me about my blog posts, I was becoming insecure about what I should share and questioning my intentions regarding why I had a blog to begin with. I was allowing a "minority" of people affect what a "majority" of people seemed to like. My brain seemed to be OK with this, but my heart was being affected differently. My brain was thinking, but my heart was feeling.
Then at the end of May, I received a "whammy" of a comment regarding a post I wrote for my new blog "A Crazy Stage Mom". After reading the "mean-spirited" comment, I retreated...momentarily. Then about two hours later, my adrenaline kicked into high gear, and I NEEDED to reply not only to her, but also anyone else that felt the same way (and I didn't know it). My thoughts were racing through my mind...was this person someone who knew me, that I considered a friend? How could they be so mean, if they were my friend? Perhaps my judgment of people was not so great. Who should I trust? Who can I trust?
TRUST is a powerful word. It can make a person...and it can break a person. When you trust someone or a situation, you are allowing yourself to become vulnerable and openly accessible. Because I want to be trusted, I give my trust freely. Possibly, too free. So many times over the years (and even recently), I have kicked myself for "not knowing better"... for following my heart instead of my head, regarding who I can trust and how much of myself I will share.
I know in some of my previous posts, I have questioned my reasons for blogging, and have acknowledged the position of vulnerability I place myself in by having a blog. I accept and understand that. But it still doesn't make it any less uncomfortable or even painful when people are judgmental or mean. Someone told me a few weeks ago that if I wanted to have a blog, I needed to have thicker skin. At the time it didn't make sense why they would have said that to me. Sadly, I get it now. What I don't understand is that if someone doesn't like someone else's blog, then why read it?
At this point, I really want to continue blogging, but I am not sure I have the heart for it. I am lacking a HUGE amount of TRUST as to whether I want to continue to share ME with others. My blogs were being written from my heart, and now I feel like it has been invaded by an uninvited guest. But I guess, when you are part of the internet world, there are going to be LOTS of uninvited guests that are stalking around and going where they weren't invited. I recognize this was a risk when I started blogging, but I never imagined I would receive some of the comments, phone calls and emails I have.
IT'S JUST A PERSONAL BLOG!!!! I AM NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!!!!
It has been a week since I last wrote a blog post. Not that I haven't had plenty of thoughts swirling in my mind that I have wanted to write about. But it seems that I have become overly conscious about what to write and how to say it because of a few mean and cruel words that one person posted on one of my posts. My state of TRUST has been chipped at and it doesn't feel good.
I know in some of my previous posts, I have questioned my reasons for blogging, and have acknowledged the position of vulnerability I place myself in by having a blog. I accept and understand that. But it still doesn't make it any less uncomfortable or even painful when people are judgmental or mean. Someone told me a few weeks ago that if I wanted to have a blog, I needed to have thicker skin. At the time it didn't make sense why they would have said that to me. Sadly, I get it now. What I don't understand is that if someone doesn't like someone else's blog, then why read it?
At this point, I really want to continue blogging, but I am not sure I have the heart for it. I am lacking a HUGE amount of TRUST as to whether I want to continue to share ME with others. My blogs were being written from my heart, and now I feel like it has been invaded by an uninvited guest. But I guess, when you are part of the internet world, there are going to be LOTS of uninvited guests that are stalking around and going where they weren't invited. I recognize this was a risk when I started blogging, but I never imagined I would receive some of the comments, phone calls and emails I have.
IT'S JUST A PERSONAL BLOG!!!! I AM NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!!!!
Two months ago when I wrote a blog post called "Why Am I Even Blogging," I was actually feeling concerned about what I would write about because I didn't want to hurt or offend anyone with my posts. I guess when it comes to comments others make, that's a whole other arena and it doesn't apply to some people.
Standing on my night table next to my bed is a cross. On it is a verse about TRUST.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
This verse was engraved on my heart six years ago. During some of my most painful times and scary moments, this verse has given me huge amounts of strength. Perhaps this is what I need to do regarding my blog. Trust Him. Let Go and Let God...allow Him to lead me regarding what I will write and how my blogs will continue to evolve. I need to continue to trust in TRUST. :-)
Standing on my night table next to my bed is a cross. On it is a verse about TRUST.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
This verse was engraved on my heart six years ago. During some of my most painful times and scary moments, this verse has given me huge amounts of strength. Perhaps this is what I need to do regarding my blog. Trust Him. Let Go and Let God...allow Him to lead me regarding what I will write and how my blogs will continue to evolve. I need to continue to trust in TRUST. :-)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Blogging Is For EVERYONE
Saturday afternoon, I decided to start another blog. My decision to do this was inspired by a very close friend after we had spent HOURS that day, joking and talking about the happenings in our lives for the last couple of years. One area we spent a lot of time talking about was our children - and all of the time and money we have spent on them, in the area of Performing Arts. We also reminisced about our trip two years ago to Orlando, Florida with "The ARTS Showcase" event. At that time our friendship was just starting out, and it felt "crazy" trying to learn all we could "to do things right" when it came to helping our children prepare for auditions and performances. We were in essence learning how to become our children's talent managers. And there was a lot of humor in all of that!
While laughing about our memories, we started talking out loud about the idea of creating a blog to put all of our humorous (and not so humorous) performing arts experiences. The title of the blog "A Crazy Stage Mom" was intended to be an attempt at reminding myself, NOT to be a Crazy Stage Mom. The title makes me giggle, because there are many funny moments that have seemed crazy over the years regarding auditions and performances with my children. Since I am sure there will be many more to come, I thought it would be a good idea to not clog up this blog with posts that were specific to performing arts and put those somewhere else.
People who really understand me and are truly my friends will know that when I am telling a story, I am usually smiling most of the time, if I am not laughing. When I started blogging, I felt like I was telling a story, so I would write it as if I was speaking it. And when speaking it, chances are I am smiling and/or laughing - so that will come out in my post - with possibly many "LOL's", "HAHAHA's" and smiling faces.
I acknowledge that my style of blogging may not be for everyone, and what I write about may not interest everyone. But that is OK. Like the THOUSANDS of other blogs out there in the cyberspace world, which come in all styles and formats, mine has its own style and format, too. And what one reader might enjoy, another may not. This is the beauty of blogging. If a person has the desire and interest to write and share their thoughts and opinions, they can do that through having a blog.
On Saturday night, however, a really rude comment was posted on my new blog (which I have since deleted) from someone who read my new post and didn't have the decency to use their REAL name; instead used the name A GREAT MOM. Well, her comment was not so nice! Instead, she sounded like "A CRUEL MOM!" She informed me that "my blog was annoying. and so are you. you use the term "LOL!" way too much and should really leave the blogging to REAL bloggers. Wannabe bloggers really get on my nerves."
WOW!!!!! Since when did blogging have rules regarding how much is too much usage of a term in a blog post? And what the hell is a REAL blogger? I have never claimed to be a professional blogger. I am a PERSONAL blogger, sharing personal experiences, for those that choose to read it and want a peek inside my mind and life. If you're NOT interested in what I have to say, then don't read it! And keep your comments to yourself!
According to the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, the word "BLOG" means:
a website that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer.
I believe that is EXACTLY what my blog is and that is what I am using it for! What "A Great Mom" said was rude and mean...and those kinds of people GET ON MY NERVES! If the way I blog is not her style, then she should not read my blog, nor should she make any comments. Trying to publicly humiliate me with her mean-spirited words, definitely does NOT make her "A Great Mom." It makes her far from it! And if she is "possibly" a friend of mine, please don't be my friend anymore. I don't need this kind of friend or friendship in my life or as a friend on Facebook. A real friend would have sent me a private message or email "suggesting" helpful tips for my blog - since I am still relatively new at blogging - not tried to belittle and embarrass me on my blog. Perhaps I did use a few too many "LOL's" in my latest post, but I was laughing most of the time while I was writing the post. (I have gone back and edited it - so my "laughing" is not so much.) I am much more open to suggestions and constructive comments - NOT HURTFUL CRITICISM!
Blogging is for everyone and anyone! If I was a "professional" blogger, then perhaps there might be "rules" and "guidelines" regarding how long my posts should be, what words/terms should not be used, if a picture or hyperkink is required with my posts, etc., etc. But since my blogs are PERSONAL, there are NO rules or guidelines. I am not getting paid for blogging, nor am I receiving kickbacks for endorsing a product or website. I get no perks for having a blog! I write from my heart, and what I have to say is "REAL" - and since the definition for a blogger is "someone who blogs on a blog" - and my blogs seem to meet the definition mentioned above regarding what a blog is, then I am in fact a REAL BLOGGER!
For those that would like a peek into my "crazy" world with children in performing arts, I have included a link to my new blog. Enjoy! :-)
"A Crazy Stage Mom" blog
While laughing about our memories, we started talking out loud about the idea of creating a blog to put all of our humorous (and not so humorous) performing arts experiences. The title of the blog "A Crazy Stage Mom" was intended to be an attempt at reminding myself, NOT to be a Crazy Stage Mom. The title makes me giggle, because there are many funny moments that have seemed crazy over the years regarding auditions and performances with my children. Since I am sure there will be many more to come, I thought it would be a good idea to not clog up this blog with posts that were specific to performing arts and put those somewhere else.
People who really understand me and are truly my friends will know that when I am telling a story, I am usually smiling most of the time, if I am not laughing. When I started blogging, I felt like I was telling a story, so I would write it as if I was speaking it. And when speaking it, chances are I am smiling and/or laughing - so that will come out in my post - with possibly many "LOL's", "HAHAHA's" and smiling faces.
I acknowledge that my style of blogging may not be for everyone, and what I write about may not interest everyone. But that is OK. Like the THOUSANDS of other blogs out there in the cyberspace world, which come in all styles and formats, mine has its own style and format, too. And what one reader might enjoy, another may not. This is the beauty of blogging. If a person has the desire and interest to write and share their thoughts and opinions, they can do that through having a blog.
On Saturday night, however, a really rude comment was posted on my new blog (which I have since deleted) from someone who read my new post and didn't have the decency to use their REAL name; instead used the name A GREAT MOM. Well, her comment was not so nice! Instead, she sounded like "A CRUEL MOM!" She informed me that "my blog was annoying. and so are you. you use the term "LOL!" way too much and should really leave the blogging to REAL bloggers. Wannabe bloggers really get on my nerves."
WOW!!!!! Since when did blogging have rules regarding how much is too much usage of a term in a blog post? And what the hell is a REAL blogger? I have never claimed to be a professional blogger. I am a PERSONAL blogger, sharing personal experiences, for those that choose to read it and want a peek inside my mind and life. If you're NOT interested in what I have to say, then don't read it! And keep your comments to yourself!
According to the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, the word "BLOG" means:
a website that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer.
I believe that is EXACTLY what my blog is and that is what I am using it for! What "A Great Mom" said was rude and mean...and those kinds of people GET ON MY NERVES! If the way I blog is not her style, then she should not read my blog, nor should she make any comments. Trying to publicly humiliate me with her mean-spirited words, definitely does NOT make her "A Great Mom." It makes her far from it! And if she is "possibly" a friend of mine, please don't be my friend anymore. I don't need this kind of friend or friendship in my life or as a friend on Facebook. A real friend would have sent me a private message or email "suggesting" helpful tips for my blog - since I am still relatively new at blogging - not tried to belittle and embarrass me on my blog. Perhaps I did use a few too many "LOL's" in my latest post, but I was laughing most of the time while I was writing the post. (I have gone back and edited it - so my "laughing" is not so much.) I am much more open to suggestions and constructive comments - NOT HURTFUL CRITICISM!
Blogging is for everyone and anyone! If I was a "professional" blogger, then perhaps there might be "rules" and "guidelines" regarding how long my posts should be, what words/terms should not be used, if a picture or hyperkink is required with my posts, etc., etc. But since my blogs are PERSONAL, there are NO rules or guidelines. I am not getting paid for blogging, nor am I receiving kickbacks for endorsing a product or website. I get no perks for having a blog! I write from my heart, and what I have to say is "REAL" - and since the definition for a blogger is "someone who blogs on a blog" - and my blogs seem to meet the definition mentioned above regarding what a blog is, then I am in fact a REAL BLOGGER!
For those that would like a peek into my "crazy" world with children in performing arts, I have included a link to my new blog. Enjoy! :-)
"A Crazy Stage Mom" blog
Friday, May 25, 2012
The Music of My Life
Today's brain purge is about music! I was inspired to write about this after I heard today for the first time Katy Perry's new song called "Wide Awake." It reminded me of the theme for my blog "A MidLife Awakening."
I'm wide awake
And now it's clear to me
That everything you see
Ain't always what it seems
I'm wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long
What a perfect song, considering how I have been feeling recently. Lately, I have come to realize that I listen to a WHOLE LOT of music - a whole lot of the time. But I don't just listen to the music, I LISTEN to the instruments being played and the lyrics! And then if I really like the beat or melody of the song, or I am fascinated by the lyrics, I will seek out a video of the song on You Tube to visually see the artist's interpretation of the song.
When I am in my van I either have my XM radio playing music from a variety of stations which includes Pop, Country, Hip Hop/R&B, and Rock Classics, or my CD player currently has the soundtrack from "Wicked", Lady Antebellum's album "Own The Night", and a couple of CD's I made of my favorite Country Songs and favorite Contemporary Christian Songs. And when I am not in my van, I am usually wearing my earbuds attached to my iPod as I am working out or doing my "domestic duties" around the house. Many nights I even fall asleep listening to my iPod. Even as I am writing this blog post right now, I am wearing my earbuds which are plugged into my computer and I am listening to my playlist called "Dancing/Workout Tunes" from my iTunes Library. Music seems to surround me almost 24/7.
There are some days when I am feeling a certain way, and I will be in the mood for a specific genre of music or a particular song or artist. Sometimes those moments will also play out for me through Facebook, and I will post a video of the song that is having significant meaning to me that day. Sometimes, I will even post a link to a video on a friend's Facebook wall, after a conversation or experience we have shared together, as a way to add more meaning to what we have shared.
Music has also played a huge part in my blogging. In looking back at some of the blog posts I have written so far, several of them have included either the lyrics to a song, a video of a song or both. Perhaps the reason I am so drawn to music is because of its ability to tell a story or express emotions or feelings in a way that feels incredible and real. It is a true gift when a person can take how they feel, put it into words, and help create a song. I wish I had this gift!
My Daughter has this gift. She has written the lyrics for several songs and then collaborates with her vocal coach who is also a musician and together they are able to create the music to allow her words to come to life. I am in awe of the two of them. Such God-inspired creativity and giftedness! Demo CD's of them performing together have been created and eventually, we will present their songs to a record label. But for the time being, they will keep writing lyrics and music together.
My earliest memories of LOVING music date back to the mid-70's. My first music cassettes were for my 8th birthday in 1975. My cousin Gladys took me shopping and let me pick out any music I wanted for my gift. The winners were: Barry Manilow's album "Live" and The Sylvers' album "Showcase". Clearly my love for VERY different genres of music was already starting back then! Barry Manilow is easy listening/pop music and The Sylvers are R&B/Soul/Disco music.
I remember being so obsessed with The Sylvers song "Boogie Fever", I choreographed a dance to this song and performed it as entertainment for the family and relatives at our Thanksgiving dinner that same year. (I was clearly ahead of my time, trying to be a Solid Gold Dancer at the young age of 8. Remember that show in the 80"s? LOL!!!) Maybe some of those genetic pieces of me will be passed on to my children. They should be so lucky! LOL!!!
As an adult, not much has changed. I will still get obsessed with a song from time to time. And I will even choreograph a dance/workout if the song is REALLY good and pumps me up. Funny thing is that when I have been doing this, I thought I was doing it in the privacy of my bedroom or bathroom. However, Daughter informed me last week, that she has seen my dances/workouts - several times - when she has come to talk to me, and instead of making herself known, she has quietly been watching me. Well, at least I was dressed. LOL!!!
Music has and will continue to influence and inspire my life. It is the food that feeds my soul. Music is tied to memories and experiences. I can't even imagine my life without music. I am truly grateful for all of the people that have been blessed with the talent of creating music! May your words and melodies continue to live on forever!!! :-)
Video:
Katy Perry "Wide Awake"
I'm wide awake
And now it's clear to me
That everything you see
Ain't always what it seems
I'm wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long
What a perfect song, considering how I have been feeling recently. Lately, I have come to realize that I listen to a WHOLE LOT of music - a whole lot of the time. But I don't just listen to the music, I LISTEN to the instruments being played and the lyrics! And then if I really like the beat or melody of the song, or I am fascinated by the lyrics, I will seek out a video of the song on You Tube to visually see the artist's interpretation of the song.
When I am in my van I either have my XM radio playing music from a variety of stations which includes Pop, Country, Hip Hop/R&B, and Rock Classics, or my CD player currently has the soundtrack from "Wicked", Lady Antebellum's album "Own The Night", and a couple of CD's I made of my favorite Country Songs and favorite Contemporary Christian Songs. And when I am not in my van, I am usually wearing my earbuds attached to my iPod as I am working out or doing my "domestic duties" around the house. Many nights I even fall asleep listening to my iPod. Even as I am writing this blog post right now, I am wearing my earbuds which are plugged into my computer and I am listening to my playlist called "Dancing/Workout Tunes" from my iTunes Library. Music seems to surround me almost 24/7.
There are some days when I am feeling a certain way, and I will be in the mood for a specific genre of music or a particular song or artist. Sometimes those moments will also play out for me through Facebook, and I will post a video of the song that is having significant meaning to me that day. Sometimes, I will even post a link to a video on a friend's Facebook wall, after a conversation or experience we have shared together, as a way to add more meaning to what we have shared.
Music has also played a huge part in my blogging. In looking back at some of the blog posts I have written so far, several of them have included either the lyrics to a song, a video of a song or both. Perhaps the reason I am so drawn to music is because of its ability to tell a story or express emotions or feelings in a way that feels incredible and real. It is a true gift when a person can take how they feel, put it into words, and help create a song. I wish I had this gift!
My Daughter has this gift. She has written the lyrics for several songs and then collaborates with her vocal coach who is also a musician and together they are able to create the music to allow her words to come to life. I am in awe of the two of them. Such God-inspired creativity and giftedness! Demo CD's of them performing together have been created and eventually, we will present their songs to a record label. But for the time being, they will keep writing lyrics and music together.
My earliest memories of LOVING music date back to the mid-70's. My first music cassettes were for my 8th birthday in 1975. My cousin Gladys took me shopping and let me pick out any music I wanted for my gift. The winners were: Barry Manilow's album "Live" and The Sylvers' album "Showcase". Clearly my love for VERY different genres of music was already starting back then! Barry Manilow is easy listening/pop music and The Sylvers are R&B/Soul/Disco music.
I remember being so obsessed with The Sylvers song "Boogie Fever", I choreographed a dance to this song and performed it as entertainment for the family and relatives at our Thanksgiving dinner that same year. (I was clearly ahead of my time, trying to be a Solid Gold Dancer at the young age of 8. Remember that show in the 80"s? LOL!!!) Maybe some of those genetic pieces of me will be passed on to my children. They should be so lucky! LOL!!!
As an adult, not much has changed. I will still get obsessed with a song from time to time. And I will even choreograph a dance/workout if the song is REALLY good and pumps me up. Funny thing is that when I have been doing this, I thought I was doing it in the privacy of my bedroom or bathroom. However, Daughter informed me last week, that she has seen my dances/workouts - several times - when she has come to talk to me, and instead of making herself known, she has quietly been watching me. Well, at least I was dressed. LOL!!!
Music has and will continue to influence and inspire my life. It is the food that feeds my soul. Music is tied to memories and experiences. I can't even imagine my life without music. I am truly grateful for all of the people that have been blessed with the talent of creating music! May your words and melodies continue to live on forever!!! :-)
Video:
Katy Perry "Wide Awake"
Monday, May 21, 2012
I Was Here
As I admire the gorgeous, bright sun shining through my bedroom window - creating a beautiful reflection on my wall, I am having a moment. A flashback. An awakening. There is a combination of smiles and tears coming from my face as the song "I Was Here" from the movie "Act of Valor" - by Lady Antebellum - begins to play in my headphones.
The lyrics touch a deep place within me and my heart....they remind me of the girl I used to be, the dreams I had in my youth, the person I thought I would become when I grew up.
When my dreams of becoming an actress fell short (unfortunately, because of a guy), I decided to use my next best talent - which was helping others. I had been a volunteer in many different capacities since I was in 7th grade, and thought that those experiences would serve me well in a Social Work setting. I wanted to do something that really mattered - to make a difference in the world. I spent 3 years of college focusing my energy, emotions and time into learning all I could about abused children and battered women. I took all the classes that were offered about these two subjects, attending seminars, reading all the books I could find and I even volunteered at a shelter for battered women for about a year.
Then one day, I had an awakening. Why was I so drawn to wanting to help abused women and children? Why did I want to "save" them? Because without realizing it at the time, I was really trying to save myself. I was in an abusive relationship, and I thought I could change the person abusing me, so I stayed. Eventually, I was able to put into practice for myself all of the same principles I had been trying to teach to the women at the shelter to do for themselves. But it was not easy!
Jump ahead 6 years to 1992. When I was laid off from my job at a computer company (that I had started working at when I was in college, and had been there for three years), I still had a strong desire to serve others. With the Sociology degree I earned, I decided I was going to finally find a job that would make a "real" difference in the world around me. I wanted to use the skills and knowledge I had learned in my Social Work and Sociology classes.
After 4 months of looking for the "perfect" job, I found it! Ironically, I was offered a PAYING job at a Battered Women's Shelter!!! My responsibilities were to lead support groups, work one-on-one with mothers and their children staying at the shelter with them, and be the liaison person between the shelter and the schools that the children in the shelter were attending.
Unfortunately, my "perfect" job, was never experienced! I was engaged at the time, and my spouse-to-be was living in another town and he was unable to find a new job where I was. So one week after I had accepted the job, I had to call them back and decline the job and move to where he was.
It took another 4 years before I was finally able to find another job that would "help" others. But that was short-lived, and I resigned after only 14 months because I was going to become a full-time mother, and my time of "helping" others would now be given to my greatest gifts - my children.
This coming Fall all four of my children will be in school full-time. Because of current life circumstances, I will probably need to find a "paying" job while they are at school. What to do, what to do??? Fortunately, I am finally being able to reconnect back with my original dream of acting and being on stage from many years ago, once again this summer. However, this is not a paying gig. So until I can find paying theater gigs, I will need to seek out a job that does pay. But it needs to be a job that makes a difference. A job that makes my heart sing with happiness and contentment; like the feelings I have as a mother.
As the song "I Was Here" says: "I wanna do something better with the time I've been given. I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life. Leave nothing less than something that says I was here." If I have to work outside the home again, than I want this. I want to do something that REALLY matters! :-)
Video:
"I WAS HERE" by Lady Antebellum (Act of Valor - movie)
Video:
"I WAS HERE" by Lady Antebellum (Act of Valor - movie)
"I WAS HERE" by Lady Antebellum
You will notice me
I'll be leaving my mark like initials carved
In an old oak tree, you wait and see
Maybe I'll write like Twain wrote
Maybe I'll paint like Van Gogh
Cure the common cold, I don't know
But I'm ready start 'cause I know in my heart
I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
Leave nothing less than something that says I was here
I will prove you wrong
If you think I'm all talk, you're in for a shock
'Cause this dream's too strong and before too long
Maybe I'll compose symphonies
Maybe I'll fight for world peace
'Cause I know it's my destiny
To leave more than a trace of myself in this place!
I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
And leave nothing less than something that says I was here
And I know that I, I will do more than just pass through this life
I'll leave nothing less than something that says I was here
I was here
I'll be leaving my mark like initials carved
In an old oak tree, you wait and see
Maybe I'll write like Twain wrote
Maybe I'll paint like Van Gogh
Cure the common cold, I don't know
But I'm ready start 'cause I know in my heart
I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
Leave nothing less than something that says I was here
I will prove you wrong
If you think I'm all talk, you're in for a shock
'Cause this dream's too strong and before too long
Maybe I'll compose symphonies
Maybe I'll fight for world peace
'Cause I know it's my destiny
To leave more than a trace of myself in this place!
I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
And leave nothing less than something that says I was here
And I know that I, I will do more than just pass through this life
I'll leave nothing less than something that says I was here
I was here
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