As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a mother. From when I was 4 years old, I would act like a mommy to my stuffed animals and my dolls. Then when I was about 7 years old, I started playing make-believe with the other kids in the neighborhood. We would play either "school" or "home". I used to love to be either the "teacher" or the "mother". But once in a while I was cast as the "baby". (Playing that part wasn't as much fun, because I had to sit and make "goo goo" sounds the whole time. LOL!) Because we had a swimming pool during those early years, I would also play "mommy" with my mother in our swimming pool and she would let me carry her around the pool as she acted like the "child". I felt so "mother-like"!
The desire to become a mother (and have LOTS of kids) remained with me as I grew older. I officially became a mom right after I turned 30 years old. And then I had three more kids until right after I turned 39 years old. I could have kept going, but the other half of the equation wanted to be done. So alas, we stopped at four. :-(
I have openly joked that God knew what HE was doing when he blessed me with a son first, then a daughter and then two more sons. I used to imagine that HE was having a good giggle watching me trying to figure out how to raise my daughter who needed so much MORE time and energy then my first son...and He decided that one girl was all I could handle if I was going to continue having kids. LOL! Since she was the type of baby/toddler that always needed MORE of everything from me, and did not separate real well from me during those early years, I just accepted it and met ALL her needs. MANY family members disagreed with my parenting choices with her...but I just ignored them. I continued to follow my heart with her and didn't change a thing. In return for being an "attached parent" to my daughter when she needed me the most, when she was ready to fly, she FLEW and has never looked back! She was 3.5 years old and starting preschool, and as we hugged and said our goodbyes - she gave me one more big kiss and then stepped back from me and with a big smile said, "Bye Mommy. See you later." And then she turned and ran off to join the other kids, whom she didn't even know yet.
WOW - I ended up being the sad one and continued to cry the whole drive home. But I did it. I had helped my VERY attached daughter during those early years become a confident little girl that knew I would ALWAYS be there for her...but she also didn't need me all the time anymore. Despite how sad I was feeling, I also felt very proud of her.
Motherhood has plenty of happy and sad moments. But it definitely has so much more.
Some of the OTHER words I see in MOTHERHOOD when I look at the word are:
HOME - I am creating a home for my children, everyday.
METHOD - There IS a method to my madness, even when they don't fully understand or agree.
MOTORED - My kids are motored all over town daily, for all of their activities and play dates.
THEM - There is them who keep me very busy.
MODE - Our home-life mode is constantly changing depending on the time of year and what activities and sports are happening.
ORTHO - The ortho is going to kill me financially! Three of the four kids have metal in their mouth right now. LOL!
RODEO - Our house looks like a rodeo when all four kids are at home at the same time.
HERO - Sons #2 and #3 call me their hero all the time. That is the BEST!
ME - Without me, there would be none of them. And thank GOD for ALL OF THEM!
So I guess, even though the word JOY is not literally in MOTHERHOOD, the words that are in MOTHERHOOD do bring me huge amounts of joy! :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment