As Seasons Change, So Must I

As I am staring out my kitchen window looking at my backyard, watching the trees swaying with the breeze and the ripples on the lake behind my house, it all seems so peaceful.  Birds are chirping, the geese are squawking, and there are only a couple of white clouds in the sunny blue sky.  The three older kids are at school, while Son #3 is in the basement playing with his older brother's new Wii game.  The house is VERY quiet.  Even the dog is sleeping in his bed in the front office.

Oh My Goodness!  I just realized that in about 4 months from now, all 4 kids will be at school all day, Monday Through Friday, and it will be this quiet for several hours each day.  WOW!!!  I can hardly believe it!  I might finally have the chance to "hear" myself think.  LOL!  Or the silence is going to be so deafening, and I will start talking to myself - just so I feel like I have company in the house.  (Should someone notice me doing this, please SAVE me from myself, and tell me to stop!  LOL!)

This season of my life, of being able to hang out at home in the afternoons with Son #3 (who is my 4th and final baby), is about to come to an end, and I am going to miss it.  A new season for me is around the corner and I am feeling a bit unsure about it.  I actually have pleasant visions of being able to start and complete projects - I have been waiting A LONG TIME to deal with - all in the same day, without being interrupted.   However, there is a part of me feeling like I should start pursuing things I put on hold back when I started having children.  And another part of me doesn't want to start thinking too far ahead about what I should do with my time in the Fall, because as soon as I do, I feel like God will laugh at me, and remind me who's in charge...He is.  hahaha

As I remember back to being pregnant with Son #1 over 15 years ago, there was a song that I would play over and over again when I was driving around in my car, singing VERY loudly - alone!  (So not to hurt anyone's ears.  LOL!)  I could not seem to get enough of this song, but especially the lyrics.  It was "Seasons of Love" (with Stevie Wonder performing his amazing harmonica) from the Broadway musical RENT.  The first time I heard the song, I cried!!!  Maybe it was the hormones from being pregnant, but I just listened to the song again - and I started to get all choked up - still - and I am NOT pregnant.  Now instead I am in peri-menopause - and STILL hormonal, I guess.  LOL!!!!  All hormones aside, the song's lyrics are about the "seasons" in a person's life.  So even when I was just starting to have children, I knew then that I was entering a new season of my life - Motherhood.  And not that Motherhood is about to end, but the "season" of having little ones, is coming to an end and I am having to move into the next season of my life with children in high school.

What's ironic, is that I really do believe that while Son #1 was in my belly, he could in fact hear me "belting" out this song several times a day for months - to him specifically.  This song would have been his first introduction to Broadway theater musicals.  Which has stayed with him since birth.  His favorite music to listen to when he was a toddler and growing up was Broadway theater musicals - from shows like RENT, AIDA, LES MISERABLES, ANNIE, PETER PAN, OLIVER, etc., etc.  (He still enjoys this music, but ALSO enjoys music from the 80's.  He is definitely my son!  LOL!)

Then when he was in 7th grade he auditioned for his first musical play, and the song HE chose to audition with was "SEASONS OF LOVE"!!!!  I couldn't believe it!  He was so nervous to rehearse it in front of me in the weeks preceding the audition, I had to wait until his audition to see him actually perform it.  It took everything for me to not start crying as I watched the same child I used to sing this song to when I was pregnant with him, singing it in front of 100+ people!  Life really does come full circle!!!

....In diapers, report cards
In spoke wheels, in speeding tickets
In contracts, dollars
In funerals, In births....

The video of this song:
"Seasons of Love" from RENT with Stevie Wonder

I realize that the seasons of my life I can't avoid and they are going to happen whether I am prepared for them or not.  I just don't want them to happen too fast.  I really do want to enjoy each season of my life as I am getting older, with friends and family whom I love, care for, and hold close to my heart.  :-)