Talking Less...Doing More

As I sit staring at my computer, I am feeling both excitement and fear.  I want to start a business.  My own business that both provides an income for me and my children, but ALSO helps others...children specifically.  I want to combine the profit world with the non-profit world.  

I have this amazing idea that involves books.  I have had a LOVE for books my whole life!!!  The smell of the book, the feel of the crisp pages, the texture of the cover.  A book has the power to take me to amazing places in my mind.  I LOVE to read!!!  For years, I had put off purchasing an eBook reader because I didn't want to feel like I was "cheating" on my "tangible" books.  Fortunately, I have continued to read "tangible" books at the same time that I am now reading eBooks.  If anything, having an eBook reader has afforded me the opportunity to read even more books, than I had been finding the time to do so during the last several years.  I decided to purchase a cover for my eBook reader that looks like and reminds me of a book. (If only it had the smell...) 

Perhaps that is why I have a mind that never seems to go to sleep.  All of the possibilites in life; it's endless.  And so much of my thoughts have come from the inspiration I continually receive from books, whether it be fiction, non-fiction, self-help, inspirational, educational, etc.  Rarely, have I found a book that wasn't my friend.  With each book I read, I feel like a new relationship has been formed between me and "another person."  

Since I was a youth, I have had diaries and journals.  I have written poetry and short stories.  Over the years, I would imagine that someday I would become a "real" writer and become published.  Last year, I joined the blog world as a place to start publicly putting my thoughts...perhaps testing the waters regarding what others would think about what I had to say and if it was worthy of publishing.  

I am constantly having conversations in my mind (and sometimes out loud when no one is around) regarding what I would write about.  I have even had story lines come to me, and I don't have anything to write it down on, so I voice record my thoughts with my iPhone.  When these tidbits appear to me, they need to be remembered somehow, because I am usually not able to remember that "moment" 30 minutes later.  By then, new information is streaming into my mind, and distractions from my kids have taken over my creative "mind space" and the tidbit is gone.

A few days ago, I was sharing with Son #1 my latest (and greatest) entrepreneurial idea I had.  I told him about it and asked for his thoughts and feedback.  Our conversation was eye-opening.  At that moment I was remineded (again) how similar he and I think.  We are "what if" and "why not" thinking kind of people.  Just because something is done one way, doesn't mean it is the ONLY way, and there can't be any other way.  If something isn't meeting our needs, how else can something be done?  What can be created to meet our needs?

Over the years, I have come up with "inventions" - items to manufacture, ways to improve something, businesses that would fill a gap for a need I had and knew others had, etc., etc.  But as soon as I would start telling others about my "brilliant" idea, nothing more would come of it.  Finally, I got to a point where I was believing that by saying out loud what I wanted to do, was jinxing it.  At some point, I actually thought it was God's way of teaching me to not talk so much.  Hahaha

Recently, I read the following statement in a book called, "A Little Resource Guide To Making Money Online"-
Telling someone your goal, makes it less likely to happen.  Peter M. Gollwitzer is a professor of psychology.  His research (based on Lewinian goal theory and self-completion theory in general) has shown that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen.  Once you tell someone your goal, you receive a false sense of accomplishment.  Individuals gain an element of satisfaction when they tell people the goals they are planning.  This satisfaction often leads to procrastination or the inevitable collapse of your goal.  Stay motivated, and stay driven.  There will be more satisfaction in showing someone what you have accomlished, versus telling them what you want to accomplish. 

WOW!  If that statement didn't put my life in a nutshell.  It explained SO MUCH regarding why I start out so excited when I have a "great" idea, so motivated and focused, and then within 60-90 days the air is gone from my sail.  My ideas would come to a halt.  I had received the thrill of talking about my idea, and never received the thrill from accomplishing it.  How many other people have this same experience as me?  I know lots of people that could be labeled "all talk, but no action."  Eeeek...Have I been that same kind of person, too, all these years???  

So, no more talking about what I am "going" to do.  I need to "JUST DO IT!"  And once it is FINALLY done, THEN I can talk about it...and keep talking about it.  If I really believe in my heart that my "idea" is a "million dollar" idea...then I need to bring my million dollar idea to life - first.  Then, share it with others.

I am thinking that this "concept" could probably apply to so many other areas of my life...not just my entrepreneurial life.  I need to talk less, and do more.  In doing this, I imagine I will experience less often, feelings of failure and discouragement when things don't happen as I had hoped and planned. 

I look forward to sharing with EVERYONE what I am doing...once it is done and complete.  But until then, "SSHHHHH" is my magic word. 

It's ONLY Another Year Older

After a VERY late night (early morning) up talking with one of my best friends, I should have still been sleeping at 8:00 this morning.  But for some reason, I am so excited that it's my birthday today!   I feel like a kid!  I made it to 45!  And I don't feel it - I don't think it - I don't look it!

Some people take "getting older" so serious.  Some also use it as an excuse to stop doing the things they loved to do.  Or allow the number of their age to dictate how they will feel about themselves, rather than the other way around.  I am definitely NOT any of these types of people.

What does it REALLY mean to get older?  As far as I am concerned, it is just a frame of mind...it shouldn't be the "frame" of my body.  Yeah, yeah, I know it is another notch on the tree of aging, but does it mean my body and mind needs to feel older just because my number went up another year?

For the last couple of years, I feel like I have been working hard to keep my mind and body 10-15 years younger than it really is.  Not because I am vain or self-absorbed, but because I look at my family tree, and I WANT to live longer AND healthier than some of my relatives.   I want to grow older with fewer health complications that have already been pre-determined that I am genetically at risk of developing.  I want to see all four of my children grow up and reach the age I am today (at least) with their own families.  I am ONLY at the mid-point of life!

By the time I started having children, I was the same age my mother was when I was 9 years old!  How awesome for me that I was graduating high school with a mom who was still in her 30's!!  My mom seemed like a "rock-star."  My kiddos, instead, will have the pleasure (or not) of having a mom in her 40's AND 50'S by the time they are all out of high school.  I remember how active and vibrant my mother was when I was a teenager and in college.  It was awesome.  Perhaps there is this part of me that believes (and feels) that I owe the same to my children.

With all this "seriousness" regarding getting older, there are definitely some FUNNY sides to getting older, that CLEARLY tell me I AM getting older...and I can't stop it.  (But I plan on trying to slow it down - dramatically!)

* The gray hairs that now need to be dealt with at least 4 times a year or else I would look like I had wire for hair.  Not a good look!  LOL!

* The food I eat after 8:00 p.m. tends to not digest so well, and then I find it in the morning attached to my hips and/or stomach as a reminder that my metabolism stopped working during the night.

* I can't mix my "libation" drinks without feeling the effect in the morning.  (I have to stick to the same drink, or wine and one other type of drink.  And I HAVE to stay away from including dairy drinks in the mix.  NOT a good feeling - or look - for me.  Just ask my friend Gretchen.  LOL!)

* There are a few extra cracking sounds when I am doing the stretches of my body before working out.

* The HARDEST place on my body to get toned up (which is the least HARD) has become my stomach and thighs!

* The hot flashes have started while I am sleeping.  I know this would probably constitute a good reason to sleep naked for comfort...but with 4 kids in the house...I am thinking they probably don't want to be scared with the image of my naked body should they need to wake me during the night from a nightmare they were having.  I will become their newest nightmare.

* If I sit the wrong way for too long, my hips start to hurt!  (WTH - With all of the working out I have been doing on the tread mill, weights and circuit training equipment, how could this be happening?  Don't tell me this is one of the first signs of my body starting to fall apart "because I am getting older."  NOT ALLOWED!)

* My hips hurt after a night of dancing (and sometimes certain physical activities)...and in some cases I have ended up in an ER the next morning because I can't walk from dancing (just to clarify)!

YEAH, YEAH...go ahead and laugh!  This one ranks right up at the top of my list of "most embarrassing moments" in my life...right behind my jumping out of the back of a moving pick-up back in high school as a sophomore.  (I believe it was this 'brilliant" choice I made as a youth that has negatively impacted the use of my hips as I have aged.  I am not 100% sure!  But it sounds good!  LOL!)

We had gotten in trouble for bringing shaving cream to school on the last day of school in order to "ambush" our 11th grade football player friends.  It worked...and we also got caught!  Our consequence was to sweep the school parking lot the next day when there was no school.  Rather than sweeping, we decided it would be more fun to ride around in the back of one of our guy buddies pick-up, listening to music.  When we saw the school principle coming outside to check on us, rather than ducking down (like my other friends) - I stepped over the tailgate and JUMPED out of the moving vehicle!  Needless to say, this was NOT a good move!  (And I also realized I would never make a good stunt woman in Hollywood!  LOL!)

As I hit cement, burning off the rivets on the hip pockets of my Levi 501 jeans, I also tore off the fabric - down to my hip and underwear!  Definitely NOT the way to NOT be seen by the principle!

Many years later that I am coming to realize that the stupid stuff we do when we are younger, does in fact come back to haunt us in one form or another.  For me, that injury to my hip when I was 15 years old, had impacted me when I was pregnant and birthing my babies, sometimes when doing certain physical activities, and now DANCING.

So despite the reminder I may have in the morning of my body aging after a night of dancing, guess what I will be doing for my birthday tonight?  GOING DANCING!  Oh Yeah!

Unless I am in a wheelchair, this body of mine will continue to dance.  (Oh wait, I just saw on the Glee Project, one of the contestants was in a wheelchair and she WAS able to dance with the other people - in her wheelchair.  So I guess I won't have to stop dancing if I AM in a wheelchair!)

I truly love getting older.  I don't fear it.  I embrace it.  I am more confident now then I was 10, even 20 years ago.  I don't take a whole lot of crap from people anymore.  I refuse to be taken advantage of and used.  I am more honest and straight forward.  I don't want to waste my time on excuses and BS from people that aren't "real" with me.  My time has become more important to me with great value - not to be wasted on those that don't appreciate it or me.  TRUE friends stand the test of time, distance and circumstances and I am so thankful for them!!!  They keep me strong and steadfast during the good and not so good moments during my life - especially during the last couple of years.

I am so much more comfortable with my body now than I was years ago...even though it doesn't look like it did years ago.  I am finding my"swag" again with my dressing.  It has always been there, but somewhere along the way, I had lost it - or rather I started ignoring it.  Not anymore.  Life has become the "here and now" because I don't now if I will have tomorrow, next week or next year.

Happy 45th Birthday To Me!  And may I be blessed with another 45!  :-)

More Facebook Surprises

WOW!  I thought I had seen it all (pun intended) on Facebook recently.  But I guess not!

While at Barnes and Noble Saturday afternoon with my mother, assisting her with the purchase of a brand new Nook Color Tablet, my iPhone beeps me.

Usually the beeping of my iPhone can mean several things: I have received an email, someone has texted me, someone has privately messaged me on Facebook, or an individual I have indicated as a close friend on Facebook has either posted something, "liked" a page, or had some other type of activity on Facebook.

Upon hearing the beeping, I immediately unlock my iPhone to investigate what caused the beeping.  Turns out it was due to an activity on Facebook by someone close to me who had just "liked" a page.  I decide to open up my Facebook app to see who was "liking" exactly what on Facebook.  To my surprise, the person who had this recent activity was someone BOTH my mother and I knew.  Well, with my mom standing right next to me, she saw me open the app and before I could close the screen and shut my mouth, OMG started coming out of my mouth!

A sidebar here...the person I unfriended on Friday from Facebook (because of the tagged picture of the naked woman) was someone my mother knew, too.  And the person that surprised me on Saturday, is also someone my mother knows.  This is not looking so good for me and the people I am friends with on Facebook.  LOL!

Anyway, she starts asking, "What?  What is it this time?" Because she knew all about my last "stupid"  encounter with Facebook on Friday, she was especially interested in what was in my news feed at that moment due to my reaction.

I immediately start laughing and tell her, "you are never going to believe this!"  So I show her my news feed which shows the person we both know has "liked" a page which has to do with women and pictures of them topless, and the profile photo from the page is in my news feed.  (To protect the innocent...and not throw anyone under a bus...I am not going to name the exact page that was "liked" or the person who liked it.)

The comments (or rather questions) that started coming out of my mother's mouth had me laughing so hard.  It was as if she thought I had all the answers.  "What the heck is going on here, Lisa?"  "Have these people all lost their minds?"  "What are they doing?"  "They do realize we all see this, right?"  "I don't know about these people!"  "I think they are all going crazy!" And then she made a few more comments in Spanish, which I would type out if I knew how!  LOL!!

For two days in a row now, Facebook has included inappropriate photos in my news feed.  First a woman fully naked, and then topless women.  The only pictures that haven't shown up yet are fully naked men.  But I would guess those won't be appearing any time soon, because RARELY is a man's package fully shown publicly.  That's ok...I think I would prefer to leave that visual private or to my own imagination.  And I would like Facebook to not include the visual of naked women in my news feed anymore, please.

I suppose, more power to the guys that like topless women.  But do they really want their children, relatives and people they work with or go to church with to know this about them publicly?  Possibly there are some men that don't mind, but I am guessing there are quite a few that would rather not.  I would think that making these kinds of "likes" known on Facebook, would be the last place they should be announcing this.

My apologies if it seems that I am trying to single out only the men.  That is not the case.  Both men and women are publicly posting "stupid" photos on Facebook.  After all, Friday's unexpected view on Facebook was from a woman to a woman.  Go figure!!!

This situation from Friday and Saturday has made me realize...there is no censoring of ANY kind on Facebook.  Anyone can post or create a page that shows anything they want, even if it would be considered Rated R or Rated X.  And even though the minimum age to be on Facebook is 13 years old, the content being mentioned is for 18 years and older.

At least with the internet, content that would be intended for adults only can be blocked from children under a certain age when they are surfing the internet.  But on Facebook, there are no parental controls or settings to block these types of pages or posts for children under 18 years old.   This is pretty scary and concerning as a parent, because Saturday's post was something that my 14 year old son was able to see in his Facebook news feed because he is also friends with this person.

I think I am going to need to address this with my friend.  He had to realize that his "liking" the page he did would be seen by everyone he is friends with on Facebook.  And it doesn't jive with all of the other types of pages he has liked before and the line of employment he is looking to become a part of currently.  Maybe someone hacked his account and "liked" the page on his behalf...maybe.  Either way, what might have started out as something funny to partake in on Facebook, could have negative repercussions with employment, family or friends down the road.  And I would hate to see that happen to him.   I really wonder if people are thinking about this long term, when they are acting in the moment.  After my recent naked encounters on Facebook, I am guessing NOT!

Naked Facebook Stupidity

OMG!  OMG!  Let's just say that what I was greeted with this morning in my Facebook Newsfeed I WAS NOT EXPECTING!  And I can't even begin to imagine how I would have explained it to my children had any of them been sitting next to me and seen the picture on my screen.

I will first point out that what was posted was not actually posted by my Facebook friend.  However, it was something she was tagged in.  But guess what, since she is my friend, anything other people tag her in, I get to see it, too!  AND THAT IS NOT WORKING FOR ME TODAY!

I truly don't know whether to laugh or be annoyed at what I would consider someone else's complete stupidity.  Didn't this young lady realize that all the people like me, who don't know her, are still going to see what she posted because she tagged people that were her Facebook Friends.  And her post will now appear in the news feeds of those tagged and all of the tagged people's friends.  SERIOUSLY!  WHAT WAS SHE THINKING....OH WAIT....SHE WASN'T THINKING!!!!

So what was the tagged picture that caused my mouth to drop wide open and leave me speechless (which is a hard thing to do)???  A woman posing COMPLETELY NAKED!!!  Full front view and all!  Nothing hidden or left for the imagination!  (Perhaps this was all an innocent mistake...she REALLY didn't mean for so many people to see it.  She REALLY meant to change her settings before posting the picture and forgot.  Yeah...I am going to go with that story...NOT!!!)

Don't get me wrong.  The naked human body is a beautiful thing.  Sometimes people will take pictures of themselves partially or fully naked and share those with someone else via an email, text message or hard copy.  That is a choice between individuals.  And for those that wish to share it publicly via magazines, movies, etc. - that is also their choice.   However, I don't believe I was offered the choice for this viewing option in my Facebook News Feed Settings.  LOL!

As I sat there stunned by my morning greeting, I tried to delete the post so none of the kids would accidentally see it.  But since I was viewing it on my iPhone, it would not allow me to delete it!  UUGGHH!  So my next quick option...to just unfriend my friend.   That was probably a good idea anyway, since who knows what other photos her friends may decide to post and tag her in.  And I am really not wanting another morning greeting from Facebook to be a photo of two people having sex or an orgy.  I already know what that looks like and don't need a photo on Facebook to show me or be shared with me!

Is it too early for a glass of wine to help get this image out of my head today?  I am sure it is 5:00 somewhere in the world right now!  LOL!

My Freedom of Speech - Part 2

In my last blog post "Freedom of Speech - Part 1" I wrote about my views and feelings regarding how I believe many people "misuse" and "hide" behind the right to "Freedom of Speech."  They use this "right" to mislead and hurt others...when that was not the original intent for this "right" back in 1789.

I respect other's opinions, even if they are not the same as mine.  I listen and read with an open heart and mind to others...even when it may be in complete opposition to what I think or believe...because it is NOT my place to pass judgement and if anything, it helps reaffirm why I DO believe what I believe.  Sometimes a differing opinion initially can lead to an opportunity for growth or change in one's opinion because another view had never been considered.

"Freedom of Speech" IS a wonderful thing!!!  And it can allow for so many AMAZING outcomes because of it.  But it can also create such negativity and turmoil, especially when people use it to intentionally hurt others.

When I read or hear something that erupts strong negative feelings, and my "sailor" mouth is flying off the handle in my head, sometimes the best thing for me to do is to do nothing.  At least for a couple of days, so that the "heat" I am feeling can cool off a little.   I don't want to be a reacting kind of person...because that can sometimes hurt, not help, an already heated situation.  So that is what I have been doing for the last couple of weeks.  Watching and waiting for the right time (if there really is one) to "speak" about a situation that I felt was misleading, hurtful, and just downright inappropriate by another blogger.

At first when I was typing up this blog post, I had originally included way more details regarding what triggered my outrage towards those that keep touting they have the right to say what they want because they are protected by "Freedom of Speech."   As I re-read my rant, I realized that I did NOT want to further feed the negativity that was swirling around not only me, but many others I had spoken to regarding the hurtful blog written by someone many of us knew.

I have come to realize that the issue at hand is one that probably warrants a face-to-face chat.  I am a "people" person.  I want to see their face, look at their eyes, watch their body language, and hear the tones in their voice.  I want emotions to be seen and feelings to be felt.  When using social media outlets, emails, text messaging, or commenting on blogs - the "real" person is lost.  People can hide behind these other forms of communication either by not being completely honest and holding back what they really feel or because they don't have to face the other person.  Or they can become extreme in their word choices (good or bad) - saying things they would NEVER say if facing the other person.

I have decided to use my "Freedom of Speech" - by saying nothing online.   And sometimes by not replying or saying anything, can speak VOLUMES - and that too, can be another form of "Freedom of Speech!"

My Freedom of Speech - Part 1

How do I even begin to appropriately write about a topic that is so heavy-weighted lately with politics, religion and personal opinion....but here goes.

I love that those of us living in America, have the right to "Freedom of Speech."  I feel honored that there are men and women from our country who have and continue to fight to protect this right for us Americans.  Without this right, the blogging world would not exist.  Much of what we see and hear on the TV, the Radio, in Print and on the Computer would never be known to us Americans, if we lived in another country that did not have "Freedom of Speech."

However, it saddens me that SO many people MISUSE "Freedom of Speech" and use this right to hurt, degrade, embarrass, humiliate, and in some cases destroy other human beings.  I don't understand why some people feel that it is OK to be MEAN and in many cases CRUEL, because they believe they have a "right" to do this with their words.  It is such a fine line with this "right" - one that I suppose I don't fully comprehend, but what I do know, is that I DESPISE those who think that by having the right to "Freedom of Speech", it gives them the "freedom" to lie (or not tell the WHOLE truth) and hurt others.

I don't believe that the fore-fathers of our country back in 1789, had this "misuse" in mind when they came together and drafted The Bill of Rights and included "Freedom of Speech."  I thought it was intended to protect the people from the British government...not destroy another human being.

During the debates on the adoption of the Constitution, its opponents repeatedly charged that the Constitution as drafted would open the way to tyranny by the central government. Fresh in their minds was the memory of the British violation of civil rights before and during the Revolution. They demanded a "bill of rights" that would spell out the immunities of individual citizens. Several state conventions in their formal ratification of the Constitution asked for such amendments; others ratified the Constitution with the understanding that the amendments would be offered.

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

And The United States Constitution starts out with:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

How are we creating this "more perfect union" as people of the United States, when we keep tearing each other down with our words - and then hide behind The Bill of Rights, defending that we have a "right" to say what we want despite what it does to someone else.

Why is it that a famous person can sue a magazine for so-called "slander" and "misrepresentation" when the magazine prints a story that may not be "completely" true or "misleading" about the individual or a situation they are associated with.  And yet I know individuals who are being "slanderous" and "misrepresenting" situations they are blogging about in their blogs.  THEY are NOT being completely true.  Am I allowed to sue them for "slander" and "misrepresentation?"

Obviously, I am feeling pretty passionate about this topic, especially due to a recent personal experience.  And since I have a "right" to "Freedom of Speech," I intend to use that "right" - but NOT in the same way as others have - to tear someone down just to build myself up, be hurtful and provide misleading information.  I intend to "tell the truth...the whole truth...and nothing but the truth" - and hopefully those that read my blog post, will realize there ARE TWO sides to every "blog."  And just because someone touts that they are a "professional" at something, does not make them more important or more legitimate with their words, just because they think they are!

ATTENTION...Calling All Those That Are Talented!

I have had quite a week!  I have spent it in Orlando, Florida with Daughter and Son #2 at an Event called "The ARTS" (Applause Rising Talent Showcase)  This was my second time attending.  The first time was two years ago with Daughter - June 2010.

I originally thought I would post blogs daily about the happenings each day, but by the time our day ended, I was TOO exhausted to touch the computer, much less type on my blog.

This post won't be very long (hard to believe, huh?!?!  LOL!), because what I want to write about will be posted on my other blog - "A Crazy Stage Mom" over the next few days.  Since it is "performing arts" related, I thought my other blog was the best place to post about our week at The ARTS - what I experienced, my kids' experience, and the whole experience in general,

For those that have children (or even you adults, out there) that have even the slightest inclination to want to be on Stage or TV performing, walking a runway, showing off your amazing dance moves, and/or singing with a recording contract...the place you need to be is at The ARTS!!!  Their events happen twice a year.  June and December every year - AND IT'S THE REAL DEAL!!!

We joined this amazing group of people in February 2010, (through The Garnier Group in Olathe, KS)  and have NEVER regretted it!!!  The only regret I have is that when we attended their event two years ago with Daughter, and she was given offers, we DID NOT pursue them.  In looking back, it is unclear as to why at the time we did that...but I REALLY wish we had.  (And she reminds me from time to time what could have been, had we followed up and followed through.)

Hopefully, I have learned the error of my ways, and this time, two years later, it is different.  VERY different!  And Son #2 is at the center of all that is happening.  Daughter is still doing well, and there were some agents interested in her...but NOTHING like the interest in Son #2.  To say that the Entertainment Industry is our oyster, would be an understatement.  So many choices presented to us...so many decisions to be made.

If you want to follow the journey I will be on...especially for the next 12 months as this all starts to unfold...follow those posts on my other blog - A CRAZY STAGE MOM