"Longer than I can remember, I've been in love with the idea of you.
I didn't know whether you were real, but I believed you were out there looking for me and someday we would be one.
Thank you for finding me.
God has been giving me signs of your existence since the moment my heart was broken by another years ago. It is only now, that those past moments and things makes sense to me.
Others can not relate, understand or accept that only God could have brought us together, because He meant this to be true.
You are not my rebound, because I feeling spiritually bound to you.
I'm so deeply in love with you - all that you are, your body, mind and soul. Your faith and love draw me even closer to you.
I love you!"
Back during the time of my separation from my ex-husband, I did not date, or give my phone number out to men that asked. That time was a time for me to heal. It was not a time for me meet new men or start a new relationship when the one I was currently in was not "officially over." I felt that once there was a divorce decree, then I would "consider" dating again. But that was a big MAYBE! My children were my priority and focus during this time.
Also, I was pretty sure dating and the rules of dating had dramatically changed since I was in college based on the stories I had heard from friends that were divorced and dating again. The idea of being back out in the dating world, after having been with the same person for the last 24 years, scared me a bit, to say the least. Dating was far off my radar!
My divorce was finalized on my mother's birthday. At the time I thought "how interesting that this would be the date for my divorce."
Then a couple weeks later, I was attending a meeting at my church. During the meeting, a discussion about where and how Catholic singles meet other Catholic singles these days was occurring. As the secretary of this group, I was listening rather intently and taking notes (in my mind). They mentioned online dating as an option and shared with the group several Catholic online dating sites. I had never heard of these sites, nor had the thought of considering them an option regarding where I would meet men to date someday, had yet entered my mind...until that night.
So, out of curiosity, I decided to check out a few of these sites. What I came to realize was that you can surf around them and read some stuff, but if you want to gain full access, you have to have a membership, set up an account and create a profile. EEEEEKKK!!! I wasn't sure I was completely ready for this. I had heard so many stories about "nightmare" meetings on other non-Catholic sites, I was a bit fearful if this would be the same on these Catholic sites.
I had shared my thoughts and concerns with a good friend, who "strongly" encouraged me to give it a try. He knew my history and thought I may in fact meet a nice guy on one of these sites. He told me I deserved to be happy after all that I had been through and if it turned out to not be my thing, I could cancel my membership and meet guys in other ways. No big loss.
After that encouraging conversation, I decided "why not." What did I have to lose? I was curious to see what kind of single Catholic men were out there in the dating world, and this seemed like a somewhat safe way to do it. Especially if the prospects were NOT my type.
I became a member of CatholicMatch.com, CatholicSingles.com, and CatholicMingle.com on Thursday, February 14th, Valentine's Day 2013.
OMG!!! I did not expect what would happen as soon as my profiles went LIVE. The sites are set up so that you can see all of the people that view your profile and the number of views you are receiving. It was SOOOO uncomfortable!! Within the first hour online, I already had almost 50 views just on one site alone! I was thinking "THIS IS CRAZY!!!" And, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"
I went out with a friend on Valentine's Day night. When I told her what I had done just hours before we met up, she was speechless (I guess I was a bit too, when the realization of what I had done had finally set in. LOL!) I made her swear to secrecy about my online "adventure". Which she agreed to. But then she was curious (if not more so than I) as to who these men were that were viewing me, sending me messages, inviting me to take a temperament test, and giving me an "online" bouquets of flowers, offering a rosary for me, giving me an "online" valentine bear, beaming me a smile, and inviting me to chat. I had not laughed as much as we did that night in a very long time!
By Sunday evening, I was feeling like the online dating scene was not going to be for me after all. I had NOT replied to even one person. (Online etiquette recommends you at least thank people for commenting or sending you a message...however, I was not following those rules. I figured if I would not talk with them in person, then I did not want to talk with them online. Even a thank you.) No one caught my attention or even seemed remotely a possibility of someone I would want to date. Maybe I really wasn't ready to date yet. Maybe my potential date standards were too high. After all, it had been 24 years since I last went on a date. Maybe I was on the wrong dating sites. Or maybe, I just needed to meet a nice guy the old fashion way - in person.
I had pretty much decided with a good friend that night, I was going to cancel all of my memberships on Monday.
Monday, February 18, 2013 arrived, and my life was changed forever.
Late that afternoon, I received a message from a guy named Anthony. With his message, he beamed me a smile. His message was simple. "Hi Lisa. Great profile. Have a blessed day, Anthony."
After I read his message, I went to view his profile (as I usually did, when someone sent me a message). He was 44 years old (just a year younger than me), no children (great, since I already have 4) and never been married (OMG - men like him still exist! Thank you God!). He was very active at his church and had a strong Catholic faith. He was really handsome, and said he had a good sense of humor. But then what caught my attention was the place he was from. East Northport, NY (Long Island). What are the chances of that! This is the same town my relatives live in and have for the last 35+ years! And I was also very familiar with East Northport because I had visited it often through the years, and while growing up, on two separate occasions, I lived about 20 minutes from there. Of all of the men on CatholicMatch.com, a guy from Long Island NY, a place I love and have fond memories of, is messaging me!
I actually decided to reply to his message. I beamed Anthony a smile and told him, "Hello. Thanks for your message. I noticed you were from East Northport. I lived on Long Island when I was younger and I have family that live and used to live in East Northport. Great area!"
He then replied back to me, and then for the next 4 days, we would send each other messages. They were like emails. Each message continued to get longer and longer. Then one day he asked me to chat live with him. Our first chat was great fun, being able to communicate live and have real time responses. But this only lasted for two days. We had so much to share with each other and the responses we were typing were getting longer and longer until finally during one of our chats he said "let's talk on the phone." I replied, "when?" To which his response was, "now? we are chatting." I said, "hahahaha - ok." And then I gave him my phone number.
Within a minute my phone was ringing, and I had the overwhelming feeling of nervousness like I was back in high school and a boy I have a crush on is calling me to talk. OMG!!! What will we talk about now, on the phone? What if my voice is not what he expected? What if his voice is not what I expected? What if there is silence and we run out of things to talk about? What if we have no connection once we are speaking to each other? I must have had about 20 questions race through my head in a matter of 5 seconds!!
And then I answered. It was him! Live on the phone! He sounded just like my cousins in New York. I loved it!! We ended up speaking on the phone for 7 HOURS!!! Our conversation didn't end until 4:00 a.m. my time, and that was only because his alarm went off when he should have been waking up to get ready to take his parents to NYC for a doctor's appointment that morning. Had it not been for his need to leave, only God knows how much longer we would have kept talking.
Several days later, I shared with him that I had been making plans to spend Spring Break that year back east with family and friends. I asked him if while I was in town, would he like for us to meet in person. He said "absolutely!" We had our first date on March 14, 2013 - my father's birthday. Another amazing coincidence in my life!
A day has not gone by since that first message, first phone call and first date, that we have not spoken to each other. It has been truly a blessing from God and only through God could it have even been possible for us to have met like we did and developed the kind of amazing, loving and God-centered relationship we share. It really is one in a million chances that I would meet a man online from the same town my relatives live in, who went to the same high school my cousins did, knows some of the same people my relatives know, attends the same church my relatives do and my godfather's funeral was at (almost exactly a year before I met Anthony), and the priest who presided at the funeral mass would turn out to be close friends with Anthony! Again, I say, it is only because of God we are together! Our love story is because of Him and thanks to Him!
During these last 12 months, we have had the opportunity every month to travel to each other's towns to spend time together, get to know each other better and develop relationships with each other's families.
Then in October 2013, he made the life-changing decision to move to Kansas to be near me and my children. Within days of arriving he had a job interview and was offered the job two weeks later. They didn't want him to start until after the new year, so our holidays were filled with lots of family time and special couple time! He also found an apartment quickly and until it was ready for him in January 2014, he lived with my parents (who LOVE him!).
This is only the beginning of our INCREDIBLE love story...our life together. It is hard to believe that one year ago today, I was ready to cancel my membership on CatholicMatch.com, and then Anthony sent me a message.
I pray that we are blessed with many more years to share together! Thank you God for Anthony. Thank you God for our relationship!
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