Is High School REALLY The Best Days Of Our Life?

In May 2015, it will be 30 years since I graduated from high school.  As I think back on my high school years and compare them to the one's my children are living through currently, I am pretty sure, high school (for me) was NOT the best days of my life, and that also seems to be true on many days, for my teenagers.  Don't get me wrong, high school had some great times and some wonderful memories.  But it also had a whole lot of crap.  Stuff that I am more than happy to not repeat, even though some might think it made for a good life lesson.  Some of those lessons, I'm not sure I needed.  The peer pressures around me when I was between 14-18 years old, such as kids doing drugs, smoking pot, getting drunk on weekends, and having casual sex with whoever will join them, was fairly noticeable.  Fortunately, I never gave in to any of those pressures and took part in those activities.  Sadly, the peer pressures from decades ago, are still the same for kids all these years later -  but starting much younger.

It also seems the intensity and negative impact from these peer pressures has increased, probably in large part due to the internet, social media websites and apps, smart phones and all the other technology we didn't have back in the 80's. (Thank God!)

Several months ago, my high school children (son #1 and daughter) and I were having a discussion and they expressed to me that they felt like high school was just "ok" for them and really wanted to just get through it.  They were having some good times, but for all the build up of going to high school, once they got there, it just felt like another step in life.  It felt somewhat anti-climatic.  College and the years after that, was what they were looking more forward to.

After their sharing, I found myself giving them a very "mom like" speech about kids that are stars in high school, many of them never rise up any further, and high school will literally be the best days of their life.  And many of these people will continue to act, and in some cases look like they are still in high school, when they are adults.  So sad!

For myself, I also really looked forward to college and what came afterwards, when I was in high school.  I wanted to find my "voice" and "speak it" - and that can be difficult when you are in high school.  I was never a "follow the leader" kind of person, but I also didn't want to be a "leader" (even though I liked to lead).  Many of the "leaders" at my school were the "queen bee" type, which I was not.  So I preferred to be part of a circle of friends that felt like we were all on the same level.  No exclusive leaders or exclusive followers.  We just took turns "leading" or "following" - depending on the activity and people involved.  That part of high school was fun. 

Recently, as I was cleaning out my storage area in my basement, I found a bin with items from my youth.  Some of the more interesting items were letters and cards from when I was in high school.  Some of the cards were funny and some of the letters were the length of a phone conversation (our version of texting).  Reading about the past dating relationships me and my friends were involved in or guys we liked, was the most entertaining and brought back some wonderful memories of high school.  It then made me wonder, based on their letters, what had my letters said to them?  I would love to put all the letters together and read the WHOLE story.  I'm sure there would be a LOT of laughing!

As I've gotten older, I do tend to think less and less about the crappy stuff from high school, and cling more to the good stuff.  Perhaps, it's because I've had so many more good things happen in my adult life, it has slowly covered some of the not-so-great stuff from my youth.  If I had a choice to have a "do over" for high school, I'm not sure I'd take it.  Definitely not, if it was in today's world.  I really believe it is much more difficult to be a teenager now, then 30 years ago.  Stories about teen depression and suicide, seem to be in the news more and more these days.  That's so sad and scary!  

I pray for my children and all teenagers, that even though some days in high school may not always be the "best days" of their life, they will have more good days then bad, and create a few wonderful memories along the way, which they can carry into their adult life.  And whatever negative experiences they do encounter, can eventually become positive life lessons that will help them as adults.  Trust.  Have Faith.  Your "best days", are still to come!